A True Lover's Knot

"Dating runs in your family?" My little brother got caught dating at school, and they called in a guardian.

Turns out his homeroom advisor is the guy I dated in high school. "Not at all.

All credit goes to your excellent teaching, sir." The words were out before I could stop them, and the whole office went dead silent. Me: … No—wait—sir, I can explain!

Chapter 1 If I'd known I was going to run into Allen today, I never would have come tearing into the school reeking of hot pot with not a scrap of makeup on.

The most embarrassing thing isn't running into your ex.

It's running into your ex when he's cleaner and betterlooking than he ever was, and you—have no makeup on. "You're Emmett's guardian?" Allen's voice was cool and clear. "I'm his homeroom advisor.

Allen Teague." "…" We broke up years ago, sure, but we hadn't gotten to the point of not recognizing each other, had we? Allen and I got together senior year.

He was ranked first in the class. I was dead last. That year he dragged my grades and my test scores up by sheer force, and in the end we got into two schools in the same city.

Except one was on the South Side and one was on the North Side, three transfers each way, three hours round trip.

And once he started college he buried himself in a professor's lab, with competitions on top of that, so there was even less of him left for me.

We were at the age where you get to be selfish. Breaking up was one sentence, and it came out easy. For years after that we lived in the same city and never once saw each other.

I never imagined the next time would look like this.

My brother got caught dating at school, which meant that as the guardian in the room I was automatically a rung below the teacher, and I heard my own voice go polite and deferential. "Hello, Mr.

Teague. I'm Emmett's sister. Barbara." I've had the kind of personality that gets you hauled into the office since I was a kid, but I'd never once felt this small doing it.

Which made me want to murder my brother even more. If it weren't for him, would I be standing here like this?

Mom and Dad were both out of state on business, or I wouldn't have been the one here eating this humiliation.

The other kid's parents were there too, both of them, so it was two against one. I apologized until I ran out of words. They were reasonable about it, thank God.

Allen handed over the two kids' progress reports. "They're seniors. Graduation and college decisions are a few months out, and their state of mind matters.

I've already talked to both of them. They've agreed to keep their focus until graduation and not let it touch their grades.

I asked you in today because I'd like the parents on the same page, guiding them." I held the progress report and muttered. "…So that's why the kid's been up every night grinding practice problems like he's on something… he really does take after me…" Allen paused.

Then, finally, he lifted his eyes to me. "Dating runs in your family?" ??? Why did that land so wrong in my ear?

I met those cool inkdark eyes, my mind went blank, and I shot back before I could stop myself. "Not at all. All credit goes to your excellent teaching, sir." Dead silence.

The air in the whole office seemed to set solid. The other kid's parents and the handful of teachers at the desks around us stared at me like they'd seen a ghost.

And then I finally heard what I'd just said. Aaaaaah! "MMr.

Teague, I didn't mean it like that, don't misunderstand—" Right then the other kid's parents took a phone call and left first.

Which left me and Allen, and an atmosphere that could not have been more awkward. So I got ready to go too. Allen stood and walked me out. Every step was agony.

We got to the door, and just as I thought I was finally free, Allen spoke, flat and quiet.

Chapter 2 "I didn't teach him to chase anyone." Me, the girl who had gone after Allen back in the day: … In high school Allen was the guy an endless number of girls had a secret crush on.

I was different. Mine was public. The whole world knew how much I liked him. The whole world also knew how impossible he was to get.

So when we finally got together, jaws hit the floor all over the school.

Standing there like that, he looked exactly the way he had the first time I confessed to him and he didn't move a muscle. Anger flared up in my chest out of nowhere.

My head went hot and it came straight out of my mouth. "Mr. Teague, credit where it's due—I did go after you back then.

But I'm also the one who dumped you." I regretted it the second it was out. He isn't my boyfriend anymore. He's my brother's homeroom advisor! That was me asking to die.

Only someone with a death wish says something that blasphemous.

Thank God my useless brother finally showed up and pulled me out of the fire. "Barbara?" The kid had been waiting outside the office the whole time. I said quickly, "Mr.

Teague, you don't have to walk me out. I'll say a couple of things to Emmett and go.

My friend's waiting at the front gate." Then, not daring to look at his face, I dragged Emmett around the corner into the hallway.

He gave me a strange look. "Why are you so nervous?" I went off like someone had stepped on my tail. "Who's nervous!" Emmett stared at me. "I've known you seventeen years.

You think I can't tell?" He glanced back over his shoulder. "Our advisor's not that scary, is he?" "…" "Emmett. You're the one dating at school.

Instead of sitting there feeling guilty and repentant, you're arguing with me?" Emmett: "You did the exact same thing. I never saw you feeling guilty or repentant." Thank you.

Straight to cardiac arrest. I kept my face blank. "And now it's come back around. Your homeroom advisor is the guy I was dating." Emmett: ???

Shock first, and then his whole face folded into a mask of pure suffering. "I'm dead!

You had your fun and you didn't spare one thought for whether your brother lives or dies!" "…" Getting caught dating at school didn't scare you half this much.

And how was I supposed to know Allen would end up as my brother's advisor? … Outside the gate I got straight into the car parked at the curb.

Rhonda, my best friend, looked me over. "Ooh.

Advisor chew you out?" We both happened to have the day off, so we'd gone out for hot pot, and afterward she'd driven me straight to the school.

I slid down into the passenger seat with nothing left to live for. "No. Ten thousand times worse than that.

His advisor is Allen." Rhonda said, "Oh." Three seconds later she screamed. "Holy shit?!" I clapped my hands over my ears. She yanked them off. "Allen? Allen!

The one you dated in high school?" I made a limp noise of agreement. Rhonda covered her mouth. "Oh no. Oh no. Emmett is done for. His sister dumped his homeroom advisor.

How is that kid supposed to survive?" Me: "…Does nobody think I'm the one having a bad time?" "Bad time my ass." Rhonda rolled her eyes at me. "You got your hands on the one guy nobody could get within a mile of, and then you dumped him.

Who's had a better time than you?" "…" Fine. I didn't enjoy hearing it, but that face, that build—he did, in fact, live up to the description. "It was years ago.

Drop it." Chapter 3 Rhonda must have seen how flat I'd gone, because she choked down the urge to dig and changed the subject. "Oh—Dahlia and Hector are getting married Saturday.

Are you going?" They were both from our high school class, and more to the point, Hector and Allen were close, so Allen had almost certainly been invited. "Want me to tell them you're out?" For no reason at all, what surfaced in my head was the way Allen had looked through that whole meeting—cool, level, not a ripple.

Something I couldn't name started slamming around in my chest. "We're adults. What's the point of dragging up the past? Besides, he's my brother's advisor now.

I can't dodge him forever." "I'm going." Saturday I put on a dress, did my makeup, and headed to the hotel for the reception.

The bride and groom were at the door working the receiving line.

I handed over the card with the check in it, smiling. "Congratulations!" The bride glanced past my shoulder and lit up. "Babs! Did you come with Allen?" ???

I turned around and found Allen a few steps behind me, walking our way. White shirt, black slacks. Clean, plain, tall, elegant.

Some people just walk into the middle of the spotlight without trying. Allen was one of them. He'd heard, apparently.

He looked up—black eyes, black hair, that cool, unreachable, buttonedup thing he carried around with him.

One second of eye contact and I spun back around. "We didn't," I said awkwardly.

The bride blinked, opening her mouth to ask, and the groom gave her a small tug and went to meet Allen with a grin. "Allen!

Glad you made it!" I hurried inside and spotted Rhonda, already there, waving at me. "Babs!

Over here!" I bolted for her, thinking I was finally safe—and then I saw the card on the table that read "High School Friends," and my heart dropped straight through the floor.

I looked up and scanned the table. Familiar faces, every one. Me: "…" And then Allen arrived. There were two seats left: one on my left, one directly across from me. "Prez!

Over here!" One of the guys he'd been friendly with stood up and called him over.

Word about what happened at the door had clearly gotten around, and anyone who wasn't blind could see we'd broken up. Footsteps came closer.

I stared at the water glass in front of me and, for reasons I couldn't explain, got more and more nervous.

Then he came around behind me, passed the seat on my left—and sat down across from me. The table went quiet for a beat.

Luckily the guy who'd called him over knew how to work a room, and the noise picked back up fast. "I heard Prez is teaching at Kingsbury now?

That's the hardest public school in the city to get into—and it's even harder to get hired there!" "Why do you think he's still Prez?

Guy's good wherever you put him, ha!" "Honestly, I never thought Hector and Dahlia would be the first couple from our class to make it to a wedding.

I always figured it'd be Pre—" The speaker realized what he was doing and shut his mouth. Several pairs of eyes started flicking between me and Allen.

Back then Allen and I had been a whole spectacle. The entire school knew. Nobody had expected us to end the way we did. I glanced up at him without meaning to.

Across the table his eyes were lowered, pouring water, the line from his brow to the bridge of his nose clean and perfect, as if none of the talk going on around him had anything to do with him.

My chest felt tight. I made an excuse and went to the restroom. Chapter 4 Rhonda texted. [Be honest. A man at that level, and you broke up with him, and you don't regret it?

Why don't you go win him back?] Low voices drifted in from outside the stall. "I still can't believe Allen and Barbara broke up.

Think about how hard Barbara worked to get him." "So what? A guy like Allen can have anyone he wants. They were never the same kind of person anyway." "Right.

And honestly I don't think Allen ever liked her that much.

He probably just caved because she wouldn't quit, and then he dumped her later." Turns out grown adults love bringing up the past. I was the one who dumped Allen.

Everything else they said was true. I typed out a line back to Rhonda and started talking big. [Get it straight. I didn't want him first.

If anybody's chasing anybody, he's chasing me.] Rhonda: [Iconic.] Rhonda: [Ambitious. Moving.

Completely delusional.] I waited them out, and once they'd finally finished I strolled out of the stall.

Back at the table a few people had gotten a couple of drinks in and were talking with real momentum. I sat down to get back to shoveling food in.

Rhonda pinched me under the table. "Why'd you block me!" I gave her a look. You really don't know? "Hey, Barbara." Somebody called my name. I looked up.

It was Cassidy—one of the three who'd been discussing me in the restroom. We'd had our unpleasantness in high school.

If it weren't for this wedding we'd never have ended up at the same table.

She'd had a crush on Allen back then, and once she found out he and I were together she'd tripped me up a few times, some of it subtle and some of it not.

She smiled. "Hope you don't mind me asking—are you single right now?" The table went quiet. You've already asked.

Tacking on the polite little preamble after the fact seems a touch redundant. She added, "I have some friends who are still single.

I could introduce you." I smiled. "Thanks, but no. My standards are pretty high." The table got quieter.

Her smile almost slipped, but the living proof was sitting right there, so there was nothing she could say. After a few seconds her eyes moved. "True enough.

So—these past few years, don't tell me you haven't dated anybody at all?" Meaning what? That I couldn't find anyone better than Allen?

Or, as she'd put it earlier, that at that level Allen was the only one blind enough to want me? "It's been fine. Two or three," I said.

One was right after Allen and I broke up, when I said yes on impulse to an upperclassman at my school, a year ahead of me.

On day three he tried to hold my hand, it turned my stomach, and that was that.

The other was a blind date my aunt dragged me to after I graduated, and that one didn't even last three days.

Over the second meal he kept going on about how I'd quit my job and be a fulltime mom once we were married, and I blocked his number at the table.

From a certain angle, saying two or three wasn't even a lie. The reactions around the table in that moment were a show worth watching.

I broke the silence, smiling. "You have to try a few before you know which one actually fits." Allen looked up at that and held my eyes for a quiet second.

I'd had it with the weirdness in the air, so I went on the offensive. "Isn't that right, Mr. Teague?" Cassidy looked ready to crack down the middle. "…Why are you calling Prez 'Mr.

Teague'?" Chapter 5 "Oh, I forgot to mention. Mr. Teague is my brother's homeroom advisor now. We just saw each other a few days ago." Listen to that.

That is what a qualified ex sounds like. That is what making peace with your youth sounds like.

That is what— "I wouldn't know." Allen set his glass down, long pale fingers, voice cool. "I've only dated one person." "…" The air set solid.

For a second I thought Allen was knifing me on purpose, turning me into the piece of trash everyone at the table got to look down on.

And at the same time my heart started going, and I couldn't stop it. How many years had it been since we broke up?

With what Allen had going for him, he could have had as many girlfriends as he wanted. And he'd just said… only one.

While my head was running off in all directions, the bride and groom came around to thank the table, and the subject got dropped.

As things broke up and people started filing out, I saw Cassidy sidle up to Allen, voice gone sweet and thick. "Prez, my nephew's applying to Kingsbury next year and I wanted to ask about the entrance exam.

Would you mind giving me your number, so I can ask you things when they come up?" What a difference from the woman in the restroom earlier.

Did she really think nobody could see what she was angling for? I sped up. I didn't want to hear his answer.

His cool voice carried anyway, perfectly clear. "I have the senior class. I don't handle admissions.

If you have questions, call the school's admissions office." Cassidy, mortified, nodded stiffly. "Oh. Okay. That's—okay." … "Say what you want, Prez is still that popular.

Although he's gotten a lot better at turning people down." Rhonda clicked her tongue. "You walked off so fast you missed Cassidy's face!" I scanned the lot for my car and said, offhand, "That's normal.

If he didn't know how to say no his contacts list would be full by now." Back in the day, to get his number, I put a coffee on his desk every morning for a solid week.

My spending money only went so far, so I went hungry that whole week. I genuinely don't know where I got that kind of nerve and stamina to chase someone that relentlessly. "Fair.

You heard him—one person in all these years." Rhonda gave me a thumbsup, full of admiration. "Ms. Barbara Solano, you've got this. I mean it.

I thought you were talking out of your ass when you said you'd make him chase you.

Now I think it could actually happen." "Car's here." I hit the key fob and kept walking. "I'm not that easy to chase. He—" Something felt wrong.

I stopped, turned my head slowly, and looked at the car parked next to mine. The window was halfway down. A clean, handsome profile. He'd apparently just finished a call.

He heard us and turned his head. Allen. "…" I died on the spot. His lids lifted slightly.

Perfectly level: "I'd be chasing you?" "…" And then I clawed my way back out of the grave. "No—no! That's not what I meant, don't misunderstand!

I meant I'm actually pretty easy to chase—no!

I meant chasing me wouldn't be that hard—that's not it either!" Facing those eyes that never rippled once, I wanted to claw a wall down. Rhonda came up right then.

She hadn't heard most of it, and the sight of Allen froze her too. Chapter 6 I threw her every eye signal I had. Get me out of here. Get me out of here now.

Rhonda's eyes went from me to Allen and back, understanding dawned, and she jumped right in. "Oh—shoot, I just remembered I have something at work. I have to run!

Babs, your car's broken down, right? Why don't you let Prez drive you home?" ??? !!! Rhonda. You are dead.

Unfortunately Rhonda did not absorb one particle of what I was trying to communicate, and she bolted. I took a breath, set my teeth, and yanked my door open.

Allen said mildly, "I thought your car was broken down." Me: "…" I brazened it out, patting the steering wheel for show. "Huh.

Seems like it's working again." Allen: "You're sure?" Of course I was sure. I'd just had it serviced a few days ago.

Otherwise I wouldn't have had Rhonda drive me to the school that day. "Mmhmm. Runs fine." I buckled my seat belt and prepared to perform a vanishing act.

And then— Allen got out of his car, came around to my door, and rapped the window with a knuckle. "Then do me a favor and give me a ride.

My car's broken down." … I was sure Allen was messing with me and was about to say no when he added, "The tow truck from my insurance is here." "…" So his car actually had broken down.

That call he'd just finished—was that the insurance company? Saying no now would be rude. But given what we were to each other, too much backandforth seemed even worse.

Allen finished working it out with them and then took another call. His brows drew together. "Understood.

We're on our way." When he came back I opened my mouth to suggest he get a rideshare or call someone else, and he said, "Ellsworth General is half an hour from here.

We should hurry." ??? I stared at him. "Ellsworth? What for?" Allen looked at me. "Emmett's stomach started hurting in class. The school nurse thinks it's acute appendicitis.

They've already taken him to Ellsworth." My heart dropped. … By the time we got to the hospital Emmett was already in surgery.

The middleaged man who'd brought him in was the school nurse. The young woman with him appeared to be one of his teachers.

Both of them looked puzzled when they saw me arrive with Allen. The woman looked me over a couple of times and asked quietly, "Mr.

Teague, this is…?" "This is Emmett's sister." Allen kept it short and offered no explanation at all for why I'd arrived with him. "How is he?" "His stomach started hurting badly in the middle of math," she said. "Nurse Kelleher said it was urgent, so we brought him straight over.

He's been in a while now. It should be soon." Allen nodded.

He must have seen how wound up I was, because he turned to me and said, lower, "Sit down for a minute." I shook my head and didn't move. "I'm staying right here." Allen paused, and when he spoke again his voice had dropped, and somehow it steadied me. "Don't worry.

Acute appendicitis is minor surgery. He'll be fine." Both of them registered surprise at that, the woman especially—her eyes stayed on me a few seconds longer than they needed to.

I couldn't spare attention for them. All I could think about was Emmett behind those doors, and my heart was being held over a flame.

I must have rushed the whole way, because in weather that cold I'd sweated straight through.

Chapter 7 Standing still now, with the draft in the hospital corridor going through me, I shivered.

Then a weight settled over my shoulders—a familiar smell with a thread of alcohol in it, warmth closing around me. Allen hadn't been drinking. Neither had I.

The jacket had picked up that faint trace of wine from the reception, and it felt scalding. One spark fell, and the whole field went up.

I turned my head and met his eyes coming toward mine. "Your parents are still out of state," he said. "If you get sick too, there's nobody left to take care of him." That woke me up. "Thanks," I said quietly. … An hour later the surgery was over without complications and they moved him to a room.

I went and did his admission paperwork, then called our parents to tell them he just needed a few days to heal and there was nothing serious to worry about.

Once it was all handled I went back to the room and found Allen at the bedside, saying something to Emmett. "Just focus on getting better. Don't worry about class.

I'll send you the handouts and the practice sets." In senior year every minute counts. Watching it, I went a little unmoored.

He looked exactly the way he had when he was riding me about studying. Not exactly, though. With Emmett he was noticeably gentler, more forgiving.

Back when my brain hurt from studying and I wanted to go do something fun, I had to hang on Allen forever before he'd let me hold his hand. Ten worksheets for one handhold.

Truly, thank you so much. Thinking about it got me sulky all over again. Allen finished and stood. "Get some rest." He had the tact to leave the room to the two of us.

My brother had none. The second the door shut he fixed me with a look and opened the interrogation. "Talk. Why did you show up with our advisor." Me: ???

I kept my face wooden. "Emmett. Have you forgotten I'm your sister?

Same mom, same dad." He was an hour out of surgery and still pale, and it did nothing to his fighting capacity. "I haven't.

I also haven't forgotten you dated the guy and then dumped him." "…" Appendix gone and he still had the energy to run his mouth.

Clearly he was fine. "Emmett, I'd be nicer to your beloved sister if I were you, or your stay in that bed could get unpleasant." I stood to go. "Hey—sis!" Emmett called after me.

I turned. "What." He coughed, suddenly awkward, and produced a deeply ingratiating smile. "Sis.

Do me a favor?" "What." "When you go get my books from school, can you tell Cleo I'm fine? That I'll be better soon?" Cleo was the girl he liked.

I'd seen her picture in his backpack. I stared at him. "How are you this highmaintenance?" He didn't even flinch. "I don't want her worrying." That stopped me. "Fine.

Got it." "Thanks, sis!" Then, with a worried look, he added, "So you and our advisor… there's no chance of that, right?" I gave him a death stare.

Emmett went quiet for a moment. "I mean, a lot of people like him.

Plenty at our school alone… Look, you getting back together isn't off the table, but you'd have to promise me: no breaking up before I graduate." Chapter 8 I said calmly, "Emmett, you should be grateful you went into surgery today.

You traded an appendix for your miserable life." … What a richly eventful day it had been.

I stepped out of the room to get some air before this colorful life of mine gave me high blood pressure.

I ended up on a stair landing in the parking garage, where the light was bad. I let out a long breath and rubbed at my eyes, which had gone dry and scratchy.

Then footsteps, and I realized Allen was there too. He was smoking. A small red light coming and going in the dark. He was half leaning against the wall, alone with himself.

When he registered me he looked over, then crushed out the cigarette. Nobody knew that the Allen who spoke for the student body at allschool assemblies smoked.

I caught him once on the top row of the bleachers, and he stayed exactly as cool and indifferent as ever, as if it made no difference to him whether I turned him in.

I asked him: is smoking fun? He didn't answer. He turned and walked away. After we got together I brought it up again, dying of curiosity, wanting to try it. He said no.

And after that he never smoked again. And here he was, smoking. Well. We'd been broken up a long time.

I was about to ask when would be a good time to come get Emmett's things from school, and he crossed the space toward me. "Babs." He said my name low, the first time since we'd found each other again, and it wasn't the proper full one anymore. "Why are you crying." He was close.

Close enough that I could feel the breath behind the words