Drowning in His Regret

I wasted ten years on Roman. My fingers crushed the positive pregnancy test. I choked out a desperate question about a ring. He bit down on his cigarette.

A cruel smirk twisted his mouth. "Stop acting crazy. Marriage? I need someone... wholesome." Days later, he dropped to one knee.

He flashed a halfmilliondollar rock at my halfsister. The wedding crowd braced themselves. They expected the unhinged ex to snap and trash the venue. They miscalculated.

The obsession completely burned out. I cut Roman off. And the baby growing inside me? I rejected it too. Chapter 1 Crushed petals of imported Ecuadorian roses blanketed the floor.

My friend nudged me, eavesdropping on the whispers about the bride’s massive diamond. "Holy shit. Eat the rich, right? Don't look so jealous, Sutton.

Knowing Roman's bank account, your ring is going to put that one to shame." My facial muscles felt paralyzed. The memory of a week ago clawed its way to the surface.

Sweat had dried on tangled sheets. I had weighed every word before asking him when we were going to make it official. The flicker of his lighter paused.

A low, rough sound vibrated in his chest—a laugh dripping with cruel amusement. "Cut it out, Sutton. What we have? It’s strictly latenight entertainment. You know that.

When I settle down, it’s going to be with the girlnextdoor type. My old man would skin me alive if I brought you home to meet the family." The words hit like a physical blow.

A brutal plunge into freezing water. The heat drained from my limbs. My jaw locked, teeth clicking together in an uncontrollable shiver. I never saw it coming.

When I first met him, his type was loud, reckless, and drenched in sex appeal. So, I buried the good girl. I learned how to blend out heavy smokey eyeshadow.

I scorched my hair into messy waves. I hiked up my hemlines and poured myself into tight leather. I morphed into his perfect fantasy. I bent to his every whim behind closed doors.

Every twisted position. Every public place he wanted to risk. I never said no. Three years. No drama. No other women. He showered me with custom gifts on every holiday.

He shattered the jaw of a guy who looked at me wrong at a club. I’d glance at a diamond necklace in a window, and it would be sitting on my vanity the next morning.

His inner circle treated me like royalty. To them, I wasn't just a fling. I was Roman's. They all swore he had never obsessed over a woman like this. So I fell for the illusion.

I convinced myself I was the exception. I completely tuned out the glaring red flag—he never once said he loved me. A painful pressure built behind my eyes.

I dug my fingernails into my palms to anchor myself, my voice splintering. "I don't believe you. If you don't love me, why the hell did you treat me like a queen?

Why did you turn away every other girl throwing herself at you?" His tone remained terrifyingly casual. "I turned them down because I didn't want to deal with your tantrums.

I run a fucking empire, Sutton. I don't have the bandwidth to play referee in a catfight.

As for treating you well…" His thumb—rough and calloused—traced the bare slope of my shoulder. A phantom burn against my shivering skin.

A lazy smirk touched his lips. "You do exactly what I want in bed. Consider it fair compensation." A transaction. My throat closed up.

The fairy tale I built in my head violently collapsed, leaving me as the only fool who mistook his dirty secret for true love.

A single, scalding tear broke free, splashing onto the sheets. Roman clicked his tongue. He leaned in, his knuckles brushing my cheek to wipe away the moisture.

The gesture was sickeningly gentle. "Why the tears? You enjoyed the hell out of the last three years, didn't you? Sutton, I know how you feel about me. Just don't get greedy.

Don't go chasing a ring that was never on the table, and I'll keep taking care of you.

Even when I put a ring on someone else's finger, nothing between us has to change." Chapter 2 A dull, crushing weight collapsed my chest.

I stared at him, the room spinning. "You're asking me… to be your mistress?" His brow furrowed. The word clearly offended him. "Not a mistress.

You're my girlfriend." "What's the difference?" My voice splintered. "The second you say 'I do,' I become the homewrecker everyone spits on." He didn't even flinch.

The gaslighting was effortless. "Who gives a shit what anyone else says? You love me. I can't let you go. We're good together.

Why isn't that enough?" The sheer audacity knocked the wind out of me. He didn't love me. He didn't think I was fit to be his wife. He just wanted to keep using my body.

My feelings didn't register on his radar. He was weaponizing my love to force me into a dirty little secret. A walking, talking red flag. But I wasn't that pathetic.

I forced down the crushing ache in my chest. I swiped the wetness from my cheeks and snatched my clothes off the hardwood.

I kept my back to him, shoving my arms into my sleeves. "Change the penthouse passcode. Wipe my thumbprint from the lock.

I'm not coming back." The mattress springs creaked as he sat up dead straight. The temperature in the room plummeted. "Sutton.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "It means… we're done." I grabbed my clutch and headed for the door. The dismissal ignited his temper.

His voice sliced through the air, sharp as a razor. "Walk out that door, Sutton, and you don't get to look back." "I don't do second chances." My boots stopped dead on the rug.

The positive test burned a hole in my memory. I came here tonight to tell him I was pregnant. I actually thought this baby was proof of us. The ultimate wedding gift.

What a delusional joke. He didn't even love me. He would never want this child. My fingernails bit into my palms. I dragged in a shaky breath. "Save your chances for someone else.

I don't need them." Glass shattered against the floorboards behind me. I didn't flinch. I just kept walking. The memory dissolved as my friend waited for my response.

The crowd around the extravagant proposal finally parted. The air vanished from my lungs. The man on his knee was Roman. And the woman crying tears of joy? Sienna. My halfsister.

So this was his wholesome girlnextdoor. It made perfect, sickening sense. Sienna played the innocent victim flawlessly.

A textbook pickme girl, cut from the exact same cloth as her manipulative mother. Those two vipers played my mom.

My mother had built Donovan's business from the ground up, only for him and his mistress to bleed her dry and kick her to the curb. Left her with absolutely nothing.

Donovan wiped his hands of us when I was eight.

While Sienna twirled in custom ballet tutus, dined at Michelinstar restaurants, and collected passport stamps, I was freezing at outdoor flea markets.

I helped my mom sell crocheted toys just to keep the lights on.

We survived by scavenging through the discarded, rotten produce at the local farmers market and scraping together whatever we could find.

My afterschool routine wasn't piano lessons. It was digging through dumpsters for plastic water bottles and cardboard to cash in at the recycling center.

Every day of that grinding poverty cemented my hatred for Donovan and his shiny new family. For the last three years, Sienna threw herself at Roman every chance she got.

He used to swat her away like a pest. He’d look at her with pure disgust. He promised me that anyone I hated was permanently dead to him.

Now, he was giving her the proposal of the century. We were over. I knew I had no right to bleed over him anymore. But the phantom pain in my chest still throbbed.

Chapter 3 The blood completely drained from my face. My eyes burned. Roman drank it all in. He stood there, one hand shoved casually into his slacks.

A cruel, amused smirk played on his lips. The closer I got to shattering, the more he seemed to enjoy the show.

His inner circle shifted on their feet, murmuring just loud enough for me to catch. "Shit. Sutton’s obsessed with him. She’s going to lose it. If she lunges, grab her.

We can't let her touch the bridetobe." My knuckles ached with the primal urge to deck them both. But reality was a cold bitch. Security heavily outnumbered me.

One swing at Sienna, and I’d be dragged out by my hair. I dragged in a sharp breath. The oxygen scraped my throat. I forced my facial muscles to relax. "Why would I ruin this?

Roman and Sienna are a match made in heaven. I couldn't be happier for them." The whispering abruptly died. Jaws practically hit the floor.

Nobody expected me to play the bigger person. Roman’s smirk vanished. The temperature in his dark eyes plummeted, slicing into me like shards of glass.

Sienna batted her curled lashes, playing the sweet, innocent victim to perfection. "Sutton, do you really mean that?

Will you be my maid of honor when we get married?" Bile rose in the back of my throat. The fake sweetness was nauseating.

I flashed a razorthin smile. "I'll pass on the bridesmaid gig. But I genuinely wish you both a long life together.

May you be completely infertile, yet somehow end up with a house full of kids." Sienna caught the heavy implication instantly.

Fat, crocodile tears welled in her eyes. "Sutton, I know you hate me, but you don't have to curse my marriage. If you're mad that Roman chose me, I'm so sorry.

Please don't be angry." The performance was Oscarworthy, but I was exhausted. The toxic energy just drained me. I pivoted on my heel to leave.

A heavy grip clamped around my wrist, bone grinding against bone. Roman yanked me back.

His dark eyes were lethal, his tone an absolute command. "Apologize to Sienna." A week ago, those exact hands had mapped my body.

His mouth pressed against my ear, whispering that no one would ever hurt me while he was around. Now, he was the one twisting the knife. Acid burned my esophagus.

I ripped my arm out of his iron grip. "Back the fuck off. Don't touch me." I didn't stick around to see the fallout. I turned my back on his dark glare and walked out.

The next morning, my phone vibrated with a number I hadn't seen in years. Donovan. His voice blasted through the speaker the second I answered. "Sutton!

What the hell is wrong with you? You're the older sister. You're supposed to look out for Sienna. How could you humiliate her in front of everyone?

She's been crying since last night. She hasn't eaten a thing.

Get your ass over here and apologize to her right now!" His precious golden child skipped a couple of meals, and the sky was falling.

When my mom and I were at rock bottom, we rationed two stale loaves of bread over three agonizing days. He never gave a damn if we starved.

My grip on the phone whitened my knuckles. "First of all, you lost the right to call yourself my father a long time ago. And Sienna is not my sister.

Secondly, if she can't handle a little sarcasm, she shouldn't have studied her mother's playbook on how to be a homewrecker." Donovan exploded, his voice rattling the speaker. "Sienna is beautiful and sweet!

Of course Roman picked her! If you can't keep a man in your bed, that's your own pathetic fault.

Stop blaming everyone else for your failures!" Coming from a deadbeat with zero moral compass, the gaslighting was painfully onbrand. I didn't waste another breath.

I ended the call. I permanently blocked the number. Chapter 4 The nightmare wasn't over. I had bled for this company.

My numbers were flawless, and the promotion to Department Director was practically a done deal. Then came the Monday allhands meeting. Management announced the new external hire.

Sienna. She paraded into the corner office, flashing me a sickeningly sweet, triumphant smile as she passed my cubicle. I sat frozen at my desk.

The air in the room felt impossibly thick. My manager pulled me aside later, her voice low and apologetic. "I know this is bullshit, Sutton.

But the order came straight down from corporate. My hands are tied. Keep your head down. Next cycle, I'll fight for you." Corporate. The word dropped into my stomach like lead.

Our firm was a subsidiary of Roman's empire. He gave her my job. This was his retribution. A punishment for refusing to bow down and apologize to his precious fiancée.

He knew exactly how many nights I stayed awake until 3 AM drafting those pitches. He knew how much I sacrificed to secure those accounts. None of it mattered.

He just wanted to hand Sienna a shiny new toy. My teeth clamped down hard on my lower lip. Harder. The skin split. The sharp, coppery taste of blood flooded my mouth.

Between the suffocating stress and the early pregnancy, my stomach violently rebelled. I sprinted for the restroom, barely making it to the stall before I heaved.

Acid burned the back of my throat. Minutes passed before I could finally drag myself upright, my trembling palms pressed flat against the cool tile wall.

A towering shadow blocked the bathroom exit. "Why are you throwing up? Are you sick? Did you see a doctor?" The deep, raspy voice scraped down my spine. I jerked my head up.

Roman stood there, his dark eyes scanning me. A raw, unmasked flash of concern etched into his features. The whiplash was nauseating.

He destroys my career, then plays the worried boyfriend? I shoved both hands hard against his solid chest. "Get out of my way.

Keep your fake concern to yourself." The warmth instantly vanished from his eyes, replaced by dead, freezing ice.

A cruel sneer twisted his mouth. "Who said I gave a shit about your health?

I'm just making sure you aren't hiding a pregnancy to trap me into marrying you." The contempt in his voice was thick enough to choke on.

He actually viewed me as some desperate, scheming golddigger trying to lock him down with a baby. Every ounce of love I ever poured into this man felt worthless.

I swallowed hard against the sandpaper in my throat. A hollow, bitter laugh escaped my lips. "Relax. I'm not pregnant.

And even if I were carrying your kid, I’d be at the clinic by noon to take care of it." The moment I walked out of his penthouse, this baby’s fate was sealed.

The only reason I hadn't terminated it yet was a medical technicality.

The doctor warned the gestational sac was too small—risking an incomplete procedure and a brutal secondary surgery. I had to wait. I leveled my gaze, locking eyes with Roman.

Ice flooded my veins. "I would rather die than have a child with you. You aren't worth it." A muscle ticked violently in his jaw.

Absolute murder flared in his dark eyes, wild and lethal.

For a second, he looked ready to tear me apart with his bare hands. "Sutton," he gritted out, the word grinding past his teeth. "Fine.

You're unbelievable." He spun around and stalked off down the corridor. Rain drummed aggressively against my umbrella as I stood on the curb waiting for an Uber.

Tires hissed against the wet asphalt. A sleek black Maybach glided to a halt inches from my boots. The tinted window hummed down, revealing Sienna’s perfectly contoured face.

Chapter 5 She leaned forward, playing the gracious lady of the manor. "Sutton, it's pouring out here. You'll never get a ride. Just get in.

I'll have Roman drop you off." I didn't even want to look at her. "You are so damn exhausting. Can you just back off and get out of my face?" My sharp tone was her cue.

Her eyes instantly welled up. "Sutton, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad.

I was just worried you'd catch a cold standing out here…" Roman, who hadn't even glanced my way since pulling up, finally leveled a glacial glare at me. "Talk about biting the hand that feeds you." Sienna gently tugged at his tailored cuff. "Don't say that to her.

You'll hurt her feelings." Roman let out a harsh, dismissive scoff. "Who the hell is she to me? Why would I give a damn about her feelings?" He gunned the engine.

The heavy tires intentionally slashed through a massive puddle on the curb. Dirty, freezing rainwater drenched my jeans, plastering the icy fabric against my skin.

A violent shiver racked my body. My knuckles turned white around the umbrella handle as I cursed him to hell in my head.

The next day, Roman personally delivered a massive floral arrangement to Sienna's new office.

He even had his assistant distribute expensive gift bags to the whole floor, asking everyone to look out for his fiancée since she was new. Everyone knew exactly who Roman was.

Seeing him treat Sienna like absolute royalty, the entire department started kissing the ground she walked on.

The interns were practically drooling. "Oh my god, if a billionaire spoiled me the way he spoils Sienna, I'd literally die happy. I wonder when the wedding is.

I need to snag an invite so some of her crazy luck rubs off on me." I turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to it all. I buried my head in my spreadsheets and shut it all out.

But Sienna couldn't resist rubbing it in my face. When we were finally alone in the breakroom, her smugness was off the charts. "Honestly, Sutton, you must be so jealous.

You were with Roman for three years, and he never once showed you off like this, did he?" She wasn't wrong.

Roman was obscenely wealthy, but he kept his private life completely locked down. When I had a problem, he'd quietly send a fixer to handle it.

He never pulled flashy, public PDA stunts in the middle of the office.

He must really love her to put on such a grand display, desperately broadcasting to the entire world that he was her ultimate shield, terrified she might suffer even the slightest grievance.

I thought the double standard would crush me. It didn't. I just felt completely numb. Whatever love I had left for Roman was officially dead and buried.

But I absolutely refused to stomach her gloating. A sharp, mocking laugh escaped my lips. "Jealous of what? That you're a homewrecker?

I don't have the stomach to play the pathetic sidepiece like you and your mother." Sienna's face turned a violent shade of red.

She opened her mouth to snap back, but the breakroom door clicked open. Stuck playing the sweet, innocent angel in public, she clamped her jaw shut and swallowed her rage.

The coworker who walked in was someone I actually liked. We ended up chatting and laughing for a few minutes until our break was over. I turned to head back to my desk.

My heart stalled. Roman stood a few yards down the hall, a lit cigarette pinched between his fingers. His eyes were locked on me, lethal and absolutely freezing.

I had rarely seen him look this deeply murderous. The dark, suffocating aura rolling off him was terrifying. But I didn't care enough to psychoanalyze him.

I figured a multimillion dollar deal had gone south to put him in such a foul mood. I dropped my gaze, treating him like empty space, and walked right past him.

Chapter 6 A few days later, the coworker I’d been chatting with was permanently transferred to the European branch. Zero warning. That’s when the paranoia set in.

Did Roman actually think we were hooking up? Did he exile the guy out of pure spite? But why the hell would he care? He didn't love me.

He didn't even blink when I walked out of his penthouse. Why go to such extreme lengths to mark territory he didn't even want? I didn’t have time to dwell on his toxic games.

The floor completely dropped out from under me. Someone used my corporate email to leak our new product line designs to our biggest competitor.

A catastrophic case of stealing company secrets. Under my contract, I wasn't just fired. I was legally liable for millions of dollars in corporate damages.

I demanded they pull the security footage. I needed to prove my innocence. But of course. The cameras were conveniently offline. Sienna. Who else would go for the jugular like this?

If this charge for stealing company secrets stuck, I wouldn't just be buried in sevenfigure debt. My reputation in the industry would be ruined.

No firm in the country would ever touch my resume. She wasn't just trying to get me fired. She was trying to ruin my life.

I dragged myself into my manager's office, pleading my case. She just let out a heavy, defeated sigh. "Sutton, it doesn't matter if I believe you. Sienna is backed by Roman.

If he's protecting her, you are taking the fall for this. Period. I don't know what kind of bad blood you have with her. But your only way out of this is to beg her for mercy.

Get on your knees if you have to." I knew damn well begging Sienna was useless. She was a viper, just like her mother.

She finally had her heel on my throat, and she was never going to let up. That left exactly one option. Roman. I had to pray that three years in his bed bought me an ounce of mercy.

That he would pull the strings and clear my name. My stomach churned at the thought. Our last few encounters had been purely toxic. But I was backed against a wall. I had to try.

I explained the setup. He flicked the ash from his cigarette, a slow, mocking drawl coating his words. "You want me to throw my fiancée under the bus to save your skin?

Tell me, Sutton. Why the hell would I do that?" I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste copper. "Because Sienna framed me.

You stepping in would just be doing the right thing." A thick plume of smoke drifted past his lips. He let out a dark, dismissive scoff. "I don't play superhero, Sutton.

I protect what belongs to me. I don't give a damn about what's fair." The rejection was absolute. Panic seized my chest, instantly stealing my breath.

A violent tremor wrecked my voice. "Roman, please. Three years. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Just this once. It's millions of dollars.

They could sell my organs on the black market, and I still couldn't pay it off…" He stared at me, a predatory halfsmile playing on his lips. "Like I said. I protect my own.

You don't belong to me anymore. Why would I lift a finger?" My stomach violently bottomed out. I stood frozen, entirely out of options. Then, Roman shifted.

He leaned in, closing the distance until the solid heat of his chest radiated against mine. The faint, sharp scent of tobacco and expensive cologne wrapped tightly around my throat.

His dark eyes pinned me in place. Total, suffocating possession. The low, rough gravel of his voice vibrated in the dangerous sliver of space between us. "Sutton.

You want me to play your savior? Fine. But there's only one way that happens. You come back to my bed.

And you stay there." Chapter 7 "Are you insane?" The words tore from my throat. "You literally just put a ring on Sienna's finger, and you want me to be your side piece?" He clicked his tongue, completely unbothered. "Who made the rule that a ring means a wedding?

It’s just a ritual, Sutton. If you want a party that badly, I can throw you one too." My blood ran icecold. For weeks, I watched him treat Sienna like fragile glass.

I actually thought he was hopelessly in love with her. But the puzzle pieces violently snapped together. Roman wasn't protecting Sienna. He was weaponizing her to destroy my life.

He knew a multimillion dollar corporate lawsuit would drown me. Even if I pawned every diamond and Birkin he ever bought me, I’d still be buried. He orchestrated the whole thing.

He cut off my air supply just so I’d have to crawl back to him to breathe. He wanted me locked in a gilded cage. A dirty little secret hidden in the dark, entirely dependent on him.

He didn't love me, but his dark obsession was absolute. He was never going to let me go. That explained the coworker abruptly transferred to Europe. Pure, toxic possession.

I stared at the man standing in front of me, realizing I never actually knew him. The sheer magnitude of his manipulation made my stomach pitch.

I stumbled back, putting space between us. "Keep dreaming, Roman. I'm not playing your sick games." I would never become the homewrecker everyone despises.

I dragged oxygen into my burning lungs, forcing my chin up. "Keep your money. I'm going to the cops.

They'll pull the IP logs and clear my name." A dark, condescending chuckle rumbled in his chest.

He took a slow drag of his cigarette, his eyes completely dead. "You are so damn naive, Sutton. I'll be right here. Waiting for you to beg." He was right.

The police hit a brick wall. His fixers wiped the digital trail clean. Roman's absolute certainty echoed in my head. He buried the evidence before I even knew I was framed.

The crippling weight of the lawsuit crushed the breath out of me. Backed against a wall, I started liquidating everything.

I arranged to hand off a vintage Chanel bag to a private buyer at an upscale country club. And ran straight into Sienna.

Her eyes lit up with malicious glee as she took in my wornout jeans and the designer dust bag in my hand. "Oh, Sutton," she cooed, her smile twisting into something ugly. "Look at you.

Reduced to hawking secondhand purses like a street vendor. How tragic. But how much can a bag really get you? A few grand? I know some wealthy older men. Sugar daddies who pay well.

With a face like yours, you spread your legs seventy or eighty times, and you might just make a dent in that lawsuit." The sheer filth spilling from her mouth made my temples throb violently.

A blinding flash of adrenaline snapped my control. I swung. Crack.

My palm collided with her perfectly contoured cheek. "Watch your fucking mouth, Sienna!" My voice shook with pure rage. "Karma is going to catch up to you!" Sienna let out a genuine, unhinged shriek.

The golden child had never been touched. "My parents never laid a finger on me! You psycho bitch!" She lunged. Fingernails clawed at my shirt.

We grappled, our shoes losing traction on the slick tile edge. Gravity vanished. We plunged into the deep end of the outdoor pool. Icecold water swallowed me whole.

Panic instantly shortcircuited my brain. I didn't know how to swim.

I thrashed, my lungs screaming for air as I broke the surface, choking out a desperate scream for help alongside Sienna. Heavy footsteps pounded against the concrete.

Roman sprinted out from the VIP lounge. He didn't even hesitate. He dove into the water. Through the stinging chlorine, I saw his powerful strokes cutting through the pool.

Straight toward me. Hope flared in my burning chest. But then—just feet away—his shoulders shifted. He pivoted.

He swam right past me, wrapping his arm around Sienna and hauling her toward the edge. The water rushed over my head again