He Was Never You

My boyfriend instinctively pulled back half an inch while we were filming a couples video. My lips brushed his Adam's apple. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laughed at him.

Who knew even he could get shy?

Then the video blew up, and sitting right at the top was one glaring comment: [Sis, he doesn't love you.] Chapter 1 It was the third year of our couples account.

Honestly, I'd sensed it. Easton didn't seem to want to be on camera much anymore.

To jump on a trend, I spent two days coaxing him, and we just barely caught the tail end of the hype. There was no script. I was just doing a magic trick for him.

Easton watched me calmly. And me? I was completely focused on the hand movements of my trick.

There was no way I'd have noticed that the look in his eyes back then was even a little impatient. Not until I wrapped both arms around Easton's neck.

The magic trick wasn't really a magic trick. It was a girl hoping to trade her whole heart for someone else's. Two hearts, both happy. That was the point of the video.

But Easton dodged. He instinctively pulled back half an inch and tipped his head up. Momentum carried me forward, but my kiss didn't land on his lips. It landed on his Adam's apple.

And as it happened, my favorite thing about him was his Adam's apple, and the little red mole sitting just off to one side of it. We kept the footage.

I laughed and teased Easton. "Look at you, big handsome influencer, getting shy on me." Easton paused.

He pulled me into his arms and gave a low "Mm." In that moment, what I was actually thinking was this: as long as it wasn't cheating, then for the sake of that face, I could just pretend I didn't know.

I was a couples influencer. Of course I knew whether he loved me or not. I never expected the video to blow up. Over a hundred million views. More than a million likes.

But that one comment, [Sis, he doesn't love you], had more than twice as many likes as the video itself. Oh. Easton didn't love me. I really wanted to correct that commenter.

It should have said: Easton didn't love me anymore. Every so often, in my more unhinged moments, I'd ask myself a couple of questions. Did it really matter whether he loved me?

We were still together, weren't we? But I hid the video anyway. Especially with Easton right there, busy in the kitchen. Broad shoulders, narrow waist.

Sweatpants, plus a purple Kuromi apron. I forced a small smile.

I turned off my phone, walked up behind Easton, and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Is it ready?" "I'm so hungry, babe." I was a picky eater.

My big brother had spoiled me that way since I was little. So many chefs had never managed to recreate the taste I grew up with, yet Easton had gotten it exactly right.

That was part of why I liked Easton. Easton's back went a little stiff. I let go right on cue.

I asked him, "Want to have red wine tonight?" Easton gave a flat "Mm." But the next second, he said, "I have to head out after dinner, so I'll skip it." Fine.

I lowered my eyes and poured the red wine into the decanter. Over on the couch, Easton's phone kept ringing. He carried a plate over to the dining table and glanced at his watch.

He wasn't even going to stay and eat with me. On his way out, he left the umbrella for me. Then he ruffled my hair. "It's raining out.

If you go anywhere, remember your umbrella." I smiled and nodded. The door closed. My smile dropped. My eyes landed on the kittyshaped key tray, where his car keys still sat.

Just how urgent, how important did something have to be for Easton to forget even his car keys? Inevitably, I thought of that top comment. So I went down after him. It was pouring.

The elevator had stopped at the parking garage level. Chapter 2 I took the stairs. When I got there, I caught sight of Easton just in time. He got into a luxury sports car.

The one picking him up was a girl. Just a fleeting glimpse, and it reminded me of the photo tucked in a slot of Easton's wallet back when we first got together.

My heart skipped a beat. My body was already moving toward the car on its own. Open the door. Get in. Start the car. Hit the gas. Then, without knowing why, I followed them.

The whole way there, I lost count of how many times I sighed. At the lights, I almost turned around more than once.

I thought, if Easton was cheating, I could pretend not to know about that too. Before I knew it, I'd already walked into a membersonly club and reached the door of a private room.

I thought again: would it go like the tired old privateroom scene from most novels? I'd hear Easton brush me off like I was nothing. I'd hear Easton's friends mock me.

And then, maybe, we'd break up right there. But no. Easton pushed the girl away. His voice was cold. "I have a girlfriend.

Have some selfrespect." Easton's friends said so too. "We told you and you didn't believe us.

That account really is Easton and his girlfriend." To my surprise, every last one of them was defending what Easton and I had. "Then why did you agree to come see me?" "And why did you come to my birthday?" The girl was crying as she demanded answers.

Right. Why, though? I pricked up my ears. Easton didn't say anything. One of his friends explained, "You know Easton.

He was always going to tell you straight to your face." Then I heard the girl again, her voice thick with tears. "Easton, I want to hear you say it.

Say you don't love me anymore." "Say it, and I'll go." That night, Easton didn't come home. It was the first time he'd stayed out all night since we moved in together.

But I understood. The girl had smashed a bottle and sliced her wrist open with a shard of glass. Blood everywhere. Only then did Easton panic and give in. "I do.

I love you." He carried her out the door in his arms. He didn't even notice me leaning against the wall by the door, silent, staring at nothing. Of course, Easton's friends saw me.

Their eyes went wide, and they stammered, trying to explain. I pressed my lips together and smiled. "It's fine. You guys go take care of things." I wasn't lying to them.

It really was fine. It was just a bit of a shame, that's all. I didn't want to break up yet.

More than two years of running that account, and it still hadn't done what it was supposed to do. Even the video that went the most viral, I'd guiltily hidden away.

I drank a whole bottle of red wine. Early the next morning, Easton rushed back. When he saw me reeking of alcohol, he pulled me into his arms right away.

His warm embrace wrapped around me, and everything I'd held in for so long collapsed at once.

In a daze, my lips wobbling, I cried, the tears falling one by one. "You don't want me anymore. Again." Easton went still for a beat.

Then he soothed me gently. "It's not that I don't want you." "It was an emergency. I couldn't just leave her." We made up. Easton even started filming couples videos with me again.

Too bad the numbers kept getting worse. I saw a comment. [Told you it's a contract couple.

This guy doesn't look like he loves her much at all.] Right under it was a suggested search. [sis he doesn't love you] I never imagined the video I'd hidden would turn into the cheat code for blowing up an account.

Chapter 3 Gossip accounts reposted it like crazy. Some wellmeaning stranger even DMed me. [Break up with him.] [He really doesn't love you.] I blocked him on the spot.

Then I reported every one of those gossip accounts. About that video, Easton tried to explain several times.

Something about how he just hadn't expected me to suddenly lean in… I didn't care.

So I smiled and cut the conversation short. "Babe, of course I know you love me." Until Clarissa came looking for me. Clarissa was the girl who'd confronted Easton that day.

She smiled sweetly, but her eyes were full of challenge. She showed me her texts with Easton.

Three months ago, starting from the moment Clarissa's flight home touched down, she and Easton had never stopped talking.

She looked at me with a smile. "Don't you think we look a lot alike?" "Take my advice and break up with him yourself.

You don't want that account turning into a joke, do you?" I blinked. And thought back to the first time Easton and I met. That night, Easton was drunk.

He ran into me at the same bar, where I was drowning my own sorrows. As we passed each other, he suddenly grabbed my hand. I looked up and stared at him, stunned, for a moment.

He pulled me into his arms, and I held on to him and didn't let go. He cried and begged me not to leave. I cried and begged him not to abandon me. One absurd night.

Two drunk people, even lying in the same bed, couldn't make anything happen. The absurd part was that we got together. Easton said it was love at first sight for him.

I said, "What a coincidence. Me too." Easton took me to meet his friends. It wasn't that I didn't hear their "Holy shit," pitched low, so very low.

I just made a point of ignoring it. Later, in Easton's wallet, I found Clarissa's photo. I froze for a long time. Flustered and nervous, Easton tore the photo to pieces.

As he tossed it in the trash, he said, "I'm sorry, babe. I barely use my wallet. I forgot it was there." When he pulled me into his arms, all I could think was: So I'm a standin.

But that was okay. That was okay, because he was a standin too. The truth was, the moment Clarissa came back, I knew it was time to break up. But Easton never once brought it up.

I gave Clarissa a grateful look and spoke up in earnest. "Um… the account Easton and I run, did you come across it on your own, or did he send it to you?" I genuinely wanted to know.

But Clarissa thought I was provoking her. After all, the day after she and Easton broke up, I got together with Easton.

I figured that back when Easton agreed to do a couples account with me, it was probably so that Clarissa, far away overseas, would see it. I made Clarissa so mad she stormed off.

She was worked up. "Vanessa, what is wrong with you?" "You don't actually think those crappy videos of yours are popular, do you?" That night, Easton didn't come home again.

A video exposing us as a fake couple quietly went viral. Clarissa wrote a really long post. All about her and Easton's epic, tortured love story.

And about me, the attentionseeking other woman who'd shown up at the worst possible time. My account was getting tagged nonstop.

Easton messaged me. [Don't respond.] [When I get back, I'll explain.] Clarissa sent me a picture. Easton's broad, smooth back now had a few red scratch marks on it.

I finally realized where I'd gone wrong. I made the hidden video public again. Chapter 4 Then I let out a deep breath.

My fingertips trembled as I opened a chat that had long since sunk to the bottom of the list. I forwarded the video.

Then typed two lines. [Big brother, I broke up with him.] [He doesn't love me. I don't want to live anymore.] Just