I Heard What He Never Said

"What kind of trash scarf is this?

My dog wouldn't even wear it." The boy I grew up with trashed the gift I'd made him by hand, in front of everyone—while crying on the inside. [My dog won't wear it, but I will!

Hurry up and say you knitted it, and I'll take it. Reluctantly.] He'd been like this since we were kids.

His mouth tore me to shreds, while inside he waited for me to come to him first and soothe him gently.

Because I was the only one who could hear what he really thought, I gave in every single time.

Until this birthday, when I suddenly didn't want to keep cleaning up the messes he made by never saying what he meant.

I picked the scarf up off the floor. "If you don't like it, I'll take it back.

And I'm not coming to your birthday party either." Chapter 1 The words had barely left my mouth when Jonas's friends all turned to look at me, surprised.

Whispers drifted over. "What's up with Minna today?" "Usually when Jonas throws a fit, she's the first one to smooth it over." "Okay, Jonas throwing her gift was kind of messed up, but… can a doormat even get mad?" I looked down at the scarf in my hands.

I'd knitted it, ripped it out, and knitted it again—a whole month's work. My mouth twisted in a bitter little smile at my own expense.

So in everyone else's eyes, I wasn't Jonas's childhood friend. I was his doormat. Then again, they weren't wrong.

Jonas did this all the time: in front of a crowd, he'd be as cutting and cruel to me as he could.

But the next second, inside his head, he'd be begging me in a small, pitiful voice, close to tears. [Minnie, I didn't mean it. Come make it better.

Just make it better and I'll be okay.] That inner voice was something only I could hear. Every time, I couldn't help going soft and going to soothe him. Thinking I was his savior.

So to everyone else, I, Minna, was Jonas's doormat—the one who never left, no matter how hard he shoved or how loud he yelled. But I'd had enough of living like this.

I stuffed the scarf back into the gift bag and turned to leave. Jonas lunged a step forward. "Minna!" His face had gone pale, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

But he didn't say anything else. His thoughts exploded in my ear. [Don't go!] I lowered my eyes and pretended I hadn't heard. That was when Hadley walked up to Jonas's side.

She tugged at his sleeve, giving it a little shake, and spoke in a voice that couldn't hide how hurt she was. "Jonas, don't be mad." "It's all my fault.

I thought your eighteenth birthday was such a big deal, so I used money I'd been saving forever to buy you this Burberry classic check scarf." "I just never thought my little sister would give you a scarf too—and she didn't even want to spend any money on it.

That scarf looks like, what, $9.99 with free shipping…" As she talked, the corners of her mouth curled up and she shot me a smug look.

She didn't notice Jonas frowning at her hand. [What's she butting in for? Who wants that piece of junk she got me?

Even our housekeeper doesn't wear Burberry anymore.] [I only want the scarf Minnie knitted me, but it looks like she doesn't want to give it to me anymore.] [Why is she suddenly so mad?

Minnie, don't go. Didn't we promise you'd spend every birthday with me from now on?] That's right. Jonas and I had made a promise.

We'd celebrate together all the way to our hundredth birthdays. Memories came flooding back.

I closed my eyes for a moment, fought down the sting in my throat, and said: "Jonas Ferrand, I'm giving you one last chance. Do you want this scarf?" A brief silence.

Then, with everyone watching, Jonas gave a cold snort. Chapter 2 "Who'd want $9.99 freeshipping trash like this?

My dog wouldn't even wear it." His thoughts came right after. [My dog won't wear it, but I will!

Hurry up and argue with me—tell them you knitted it yourself!] [Then I can pretend to take the scarf.

Reluctantly.] My voice was calm. "Okay." With that, I turned and left without a moment's hesitation.

Behind me, Hadley stamped her foot, putting on a show. "Oh no, you guys, don't fight because of me!

Jonas, maybe you should go bring my sister back?" Jonas's voice shook a little. "No way. She'll come crawling back tomorrow anyway.

She's so annoying." Walking home alone, I took a deep breath. For the first time in a long time, I felt light. For years, Jonas and I had been practically inseparable.

Every day I was caught between his cutting words and his pitiful inner voice, like two huge hands were pulling me apart, one on each side. I was about to lose my mind.

How else could I be seeing lines of text floating in the air? I stopped short and blinked. There really was text. [Wait, what's happening?

Why did the sunshine female lead just leave the brooding tsundere male lead all by himself?] [Can't the female lead hear the male lead's thoughts?

All she has to do is say she knitted the scarf herself! Why get mad?] [They've been childhood sweethearts for so many years.

Shouldn't the female lead be used to the male lead's sharp tongue and soft heart by now, and him saying the opposite of what he means?] [Besides, the male lead really loves her!

He's just awkward and tsundere. Girl, did you forget when you were kids? You two saved each other!] Of course I hadn't forgotten.

After Mom had Hadley, she accidentally got pregnant with me only a few weeks later. A psychic said I'd be a boy, and that was the only reason she kept me. Too bad I was a girl.

And because the two pregnancies were so close together, it wrecked Mom's body. She could never have another baby.

Mom and Dad both felt I was the one who'd shattered their dream of having one boy and one girl. They said, "One little princess, our Hadley, is all this family needs." So I'm Minna.

The min in minus. My parents' eyes rarely landed on me. My new clothes were Hadley's old ones that she'd gotten tired of.

My fruit after dinner was the strawberry bottoms left over after Hadley bit off the tips. My allowance was the loose change Hadley couldn't be bothered to put away.

In that house, there wasn't a single thing that belonged only to me. Not until Mom and Dad loaded up on gifts and brought Hadley and me over to the Ferrands' for a visit.

At dinner, Jonas slammed down his knife and fork, his face dark, and refused to eat. Mr. and Mrs. Ferrand couldn't get a reason out of him and had no idea what to do with him.

All they could do was explain helplessly, "He's had this temper since he was little…" I spoke up in a small voice. "Didn't you hear him? He said there's ginger in the soup.

It makes him sick." The Ferrands' new housekeeper had forgotten that their son didn't eat ginger when she made the soup. Jonas looked up at me, expressionless.

But I heard a voice: [What a cute little girl. I wish she was sitting next to me.] After that, Mr. and Mrs.

Ferrand often had me brought over to play with Jonas and calm his unpredictable moods. It took me a while to understand. Only I could hear Jonas's thoughts.

For the first time, I had something that belonged only to me. And naturally, I started to like Jonas. Not long after, Mr.

Ferrand gave Dad a leg up, and Dad got promoted without a hitch. The wasabi shrimp had always been set in front of Hadley and only Hadley.

Now, at dinner, Mom beamed and set it in the middle of the table. I got a few new clothes and a little allowance too.

Chapter 3 Because of Jonas, I really did get some fake love from my parents. But could that honestly count as being saved? I could let go more easily than I'd expected.

I actually slept through the night without a single dream. The next morning, Dad drove Hadley and me to school.

I ran to the bathroom, and when I came out, all that was left out front was exhaust. I'd forgotten my phone too, so I had to go back inside.

While I was looking for it, Mom called Dad. "Minna didn't get in the car. Why'd you drive off? Get back here." She always kept her calls on speaker out of habit.

So I heard Hadley on the other end, whining sweetly. "Oh, Mom, I told Dad to go." "I've got something big today and I'm in a rush!

Just let my sister take the bus." "Oh, you…" It was a complaint, but Mom's voice was full of laughter.

When I came out of my room with my phone, Mom said offhandedly, "Your dad says the intersection up ahead is a bad place to turn around.

Take the bus to school yourself." I didn't say anything. I just murmured "Okay" and walked out the door. The bus would never get me there in time.

I checked my Cash App balance on my phone, bit the bullet, and called an Uber. I didn't expect traffic on the way, and I was late anyway.

I ran all the way to the classroom door, a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead.

Today was the monthly seat change, when our homeroom teacher reshuffled the seating chart for the twoperson desks. Standing in the doorway, I scanned the room.

I spotted Jonas right away, sitting in the third row by the window. He was twirling a pen, eyes lowered, zoning out. Hadley sat next to him, all smiles, saying something.

No matter how the seats had been shuffled before, the spot next to Jonas had always been saved for me. Seeing this, honestly, I felt relieved.

I really didn't want to get close to Jonas anymore. Hadley saw me first. She raised her eyebrows at me, taunting, with an "I win" look all over her face. I had no words.

The only empty seat in the class was in the last row by the window. As I passed the third row, Hadley looked at me, sounding very torn. "Sorry.

Jonas insisted I sit here." "If you mind, I'll give it to you right now." "I just don't know if Jonas still wants to sit with you." Jonas's pen stopped midtwirl.

He pressed his lips together, and his eyes flicked across my face, barely noticeable.

Then came his thoughts, the ones I hated hearing. [She walked out on me like that yesterday and ruined my birthday party, and now here she is, rushing over to fight for the seat?] [If you don't apologize, Minnie, you can forget about ever sitting next to me again.] [And what is that smell on Hadley?

It's so sickly sweet, it's gross. Minnie smells way better.] [Fine. As long as Minnie says she wants to sit with me, I'll forgive her even without an apology.] I frowned, irritated.

My voice was flat. "Sit wherever you want. What does that have to do with me? Get out of the way." Jonas whipped his head around to look at me. A stunned moment passed.

Then his eyes went a little red, and he said through gritted teeth, "Who'd want to sit with her?

I'm thrilled to finally be rid of that doormat." "She's been clinging to me for years. I've been sick of it forever." A few guys in the row behind them looked at me and snickered.

I rolled my eyes. Well, they were sure enjoying the show. With the teacher telling me to hurry up, I had no choice but to head for the empty seat.

It wasn't until I sat down in the last row that I realized my deskmate was Shepard. Chapter 4 The transfer student who'd gotten famous after only a month here.

First, he got famous for his face. On his first day, he caused a stir the second he walked in the front entrance.

Everyone said Jonas's spot as the hottest guy in school was in serious danger. Then he got famous for his stayawayfromme personality.

On his second day, a girl gave him a love letter, and he threw it in the trash right in front of her. Not exactly a gentleman. So nobody, guy or girl, wanted to sit next to him.

I didn't really care. I set my backpack down on the empty seat. Shepard had his chin propped in his hand, looking out the window.

At the sound, he turned and glanced at me, looking a little surprised. He didn't say anything. He just pulled the worksheets piled on the desk over to his side. Friendly enough.

I was debating whether to say hi when the floating comments appeared. [What's going on? The female lead is only sitting with someone else to make the male lead jealous, right?

Why do I feel like my ship is headed for a bad ending?] [NOOO, the sunshine female lead and the awkward tsundere male lead are the perfect ship!

Don't you dare give them a bad ending!] [Is this the second lead? That cold face is so hot.

Honestly, the sunshine female lead and the icy second lead could work too.] [Agree with the comment above. The male lead's been all tangled up with her sister, he's tainted now.

Can't wait for the female lead to save the icy second lead!] My breath caught. My head throbbed with a dull ache, like someone had punched it.

I'd gotten away from Jonas, and now here came Shepard. Why did I have to save somebody no matter what? Whoever wanted to be the female lead could have the job.

And I wasn't some ray of sunshine. Just growing up healthy had been hard enough. I had no strength left over to save anyone else. I yanked out the chair and sat down, scowling.

Shepard's gaze landed on me, impossible to read. Jonas slapped his pen down on his desk with a smack. I looked over on reflex.

He was turned sideways, his thin lips pressed tight, his jaw clenched hard. He seemed angry. Noticing me looking, he sat up straight, like he'd only just caught himself.

His thoughts drifted over in bits and pieces. [Oh, great, Minnie. You ran off to sit with the transfer student just to make me mad?] [Does she think I'm going to get jealous?

Give me a break.] [I don't care. She's been chasing me for years.

She can't live without me.] [Minnie, this time you've really made me mad!] The teacher started the lesson, and Jonas's thoughts still hadn't stopped.

And it was math, my hardest class. I took notes irritably, my handwriting getting messier and messier. I really wanted to slam a book on Jonas's head and knock him out.

Until a cool voice sounded by my ear. "Your auxiliary line's wrong." I frowned and turned to look at Shepard. "What?" Shepard had his cheek in his hand, his head tilted.

He tapped my notebook with a long index finger.

His tone was offhand. "The auxiliary line connects A and D, not A and B." "Pay attention in class, deskmate." With that, he went back to watching the board.

Like nothing had happened. I was stunned for a few seconds. Then I let out a breath and tried to focus on the lesson. Weirdly, Jonas's thoughts really did go quiet.

For some reason I felt a little embarrassed. Had I been too harsh with Shepard just now? After all, he hadn't done anything wrong… He'd even helped me.

Chapter 5 But because of what the comments had said, I didn't want to get too involved with Shepard either. I hesitated for a long time, until class was almost over.

Only then did I tear a scrap off my notes and write two words on it: Thank you! And