I Kissed My Boyfriend's Roommate in the Dark

"Lights are all on. Where is everybody?" That was my boyfriend, out in the hall. And I had a man in my arms. Something was off about the way he was reacting.

I had on the lace set Grayson had been asking about for months, and he wouldn't put a hand on me. The room was dark. I leaned up near his ear and breathed on it. "Surprise.

Do you like it?" His breathing came apart. It's working, I thought. So I hooked an arm around his neck and kissed him harder.

That was when my boyfriend's voice came through the door. "Lights are all on. Where is everybody?" Everything in me stopped, then shot straight up into my head.

If Grayson was out there, who was I holding? Chapter 1 I got off him fast and pressed both arms over my chest. "Who are you?" I kept my voice down.

In the dark he was a shape and nothing else. The answer came low and clean. "Cole." That stopped me. Grayson's roommate. I'd seen him a handful of times, coming and going.

Cold, quiet, not somebody you walked up to. We'd never gotten past a nod. Not once a hello.

My face went hot thinking about the last minute of my life. "What are you doing in Grayson's room?" "Borrowing a charger." Four words and done. I was nowhere near that calm.

There was almost nothing on me. Dark room, closed door, the two of us. If Grayson walked in right now, there'd be no explaining my way out of it.

I grabbed my clothes and my phone and got into the closet. "Don't let him find me. Please." I whispered it through the crack. Cole was quiet for about two seconds.

Then he came over and pulled the closet door shut for me. The bedroom door opened at the same moment. Grayson walked in and hit the lights, and the room went bright. "Huh?

Cole, what are you doing in my room?" Cole picked the charger up off the desk. "Borrowing this." "Oh." Nothing in his voice moved. "Hey, have you seen Wren?

She said she was coming over." "No." Sweat came out along my back. It was our oneyear anniversary. Before I left work I'd texted him that he was getting a surprise tonight.

He had to stay late, so I had time to get everything ready. The plan was that he'd come home and I'd be the gift. That was the plan. "Something's wrong with the computer in my room.

Come take a look?" "Sure." Cole took him down the hall, and I got out, got dressed, grabbed my things, and left without a sound. On the way home I texted him.

Hey, I'm not feeling great tonight so I'm not coming. Sorry. You'll have to take a rain check on the surprise. He came right back. Are you okay? What's wrong? Want me to come over?

No. I'm already in bed. Get some sleep. I wanted an hour alone with my own face, so I shut it down fast. Okay. I'll come by in the morning. Sure.

I put the phone down and let out a breath. At home I ran a bath and got in without waiting for it to fill. Warm water, quiet apartment, a few minutes of nothing.

Except the pieces of the last hour kept coming up on their own. The water was perfect. I kept going back to those two seconds in the dark. He didn't push me off. He could have.

Chapter 2 Cole never once answered me. Not the whole time. I was holding him. Pressed against him. Kissing him like I meant it. He didn't cross a single line.

Even when I took his hand and put it where I put it. All I got was his breathing going heavy and uneven. Except. Look at the size difference.

He had more than enough strength to move me off him. He didn't. He stood there and let me do whatever I wanted.

Thinking about it got my heart going and put heat through my whole body. His reaction. Was that normal? Did he know it was me in there? I shut that down fast.

I was the one who got the wrong man. Turning around and putting it on him would be worse than pathetic. He covered for me and pulled Grayson out of the room.

Gratitude is the only thing I get to feel about it. Grayson showed up the next morning with both arms full of groceries. "How are you?

Feeling any better?" He asked as soon as I was up. "Yeah, it was nothing. I was just tired." "It's late already. Go wash up, I'll cook." I nodded.

When I came out he was already going in the kitchen. Grayson and I work at the same company. It's an office relationship.

A year in and he treated me like I couldn't be allowed to lift a finger. Any day off, he came over and cooked. Laundry, cleaning, all of it, he took it.

Every holiday, big or small, he planned something and had a gift ready. When we fought, he apologized inside of a minute. He never let me cry. I'm slow to warm up. Hard to open up.

So at the start, Grayson was a maybe. Something I'd try. A year was enough time to be sure. Last month I took him home and both families met. Engagement at the end of the year.

We'd already picked the date. So last night I decided to move us forward. And instead I blew it up in the dumbest way available.

He made a roast and three sides and called me in. "All your favorites. Try it." He made me a plate and watched me, waiting. "Mm." I nodded, and something in my chest went warm.

Yesterday was an accident. I still felt like I owed him something for it. Halfway through I couldn't hold it. "Your roommate. Cole.

What's he like?" "Cole?" There was a small pause. "He's solid. Why?" "Just… every time I come over, he's so cold.

I got curious about what he's like with you." "He's slow to warm up, and yeah, kind of icecold. He's a good guy though." "Mm." "Is he single?

Does he have a girlfriend?" "Never seen a woman come around for him. Keeps to himself, so probably.

Plenty of people at work want a shot at him, though." Cole is at the same company. Different department. He's very goodlooking, so he's popular.

I'd heard as much. "Wait, why the sudden interest?" Grayson took a bite and looked at me. "Are you catching feelings for somebody else?" He was joking, and I still shot it down way too fast. "No!

God, no!" Chapter 3 Grayson laughed. "I'm messing with you. I know my girl. There's only me in there." "Good that you know it." Monday, back at the office.

Of all the people to end up in an elevator with. After that night, my eyes went straight to the floor before I could stop them.

Then I made myself look up, because we were going to keep running into each other, and gave him something like a smile. Cole gave me nothing.

He came and stood next to me, face like the side of a glacier. Fine. The awkwardness was mine to carry alone. Then a crowd got on, and Cole got pushed behind me.

We were close enough that I could feel how warm he was, and I could smell him. Something light on him. Something like cedar. I don't know what he wears, but it works.

I'd caught it that night too. I just hadn't had any reason to think about it, so it went past me. Now his breath was landing on the back of my neck with that same smell behind it.

Every piece of that night came back at once. I went red to my ears. Get it together, I told myself. It was a mixup. It was over. So why was it still sitting in me like that.

Cole must have felt me go stiff, because he pulled back a step and gave me room. The crowd cleared out at the next floor and I could breathe.

At my floor I got out faster than I needed to. I'd barely sat down when a text came in from Cole. Am I scary to you? I stared at it and had nothing.

We had each other's numbers for work. We'd never used them. The last thing between us was a file swap two weeks ago. When I didn't answer, another one came.

You're the one who took advantage of me that night. Why do you act like I'm the one about to eat you? My face, which had just come down, went straight back up.

That's not it, you've got it wrong! That night was an accident! I thought you were Grayson! If it bothers you I'll apologize again! Please don't hold it against me, I'm begging.

We see each other constantly, I don't want it to be weird every day. Can we just say nothing happened? Please! I unloaded all of it and then sent a string of crying GIFs on top.

A long stretch of nothing. Then, mild as anything: I was messing with you. I'm not holding anything against you. You shouldn't either. I got my heart rate back and typed okay.

After that, we went back to nodding at each other in hallways. Company retreat. Three days at the Seabrook resort, a couple hours out.

The buses got in and the view took the drive right out of everybody. People spread out taking pictures. It was almost dinner, so the office admins rounded everyone up for a cookout.

Grayson stayed at my elbow the whole time, getting me things I hadn't asked for.

Presley, the intern in our department, hovered around him chirping, like the two of them were much better friends than I knew about. He barely gave her anything back.

After a while she figured out there was nothing here and drifted off. "Come on, babe. Presley's a kid, I think of her like a little sister.

You're not actually jealous, are you?" He said it low, once she was gone. I believed him. Back then I didn't know anything yet. Chapter 4 Grayson was very good at reading me.

I went quiet when Presley got close, and that was all he needed. "I'm not. But keep some distance from her going forward. Can you do that?" I knew exactly where I stood with him.

So even knowing how Presley felt about him, I wasn't burning any energy on it. "Yes, ma'am." After the cookout everybody went back to the hotel.

Everybody was doubled up, two to a room. We were near the water and it was beautiful out. I got out of the shower and called Grayson to see if he wanted to walk down to the beach.

It didn't go through. I knew his room number, so I went and knocked. Cole opened the door. "Is Grayson here?" "He went out." "Where?" "No idea." He'd clearly just showered.

He still had a towel in one hand, working it through his hair. I wasn't going to stand there bothering him, so I nodded and got out fast. Grayson's phone still wouldn't connect.

It was late. Where was he? I got my answer soon enough. On the way back a hotel server told me there was a show going on at the back pool.

I was heading over to see it when I caught them behind a pillar. Grayson had a woman in his arms and neither of them was coming up for air. It was Presley.

My feet stopped on their own. Somebody had filled my legs with lead. "Grayson, do you like me?" "Obviously." "More than Wren?" "She's not in the same league as you.

Kissing her is like kissing a piece of wood. I can't work up any interest at all." Presley laughed at that. "You wouldn't even look at me in front of her earlier.

I was furious." "And am I not making it up to you right now?" The two of them, laughing, all over each other. She burrowed into his chest, teasing. "What if she finds out?" "Relax.

She won't." "You're that sure?" "She's sweet, and easy to lie to." "You're a bad man." "If I were good you wouldn't want me." And he kissed her again like there was nobody on the property.

I had always believed Grayson was the best person in the world to me. A ten out of ten. The one man who would never do this. All of it was fake. Every piece of it.

Built and set in front of me on purpose. My eyes blurred and my hands went into fists.

Then I took a step to go over there and say it to his face, and something in me changed its mind. At the edge of my vision there was a tall shape.

I turned and ran straight into Cole's cold, expensive face. He saw the tears and stopped. His eyes went past me, toward the pool.

So he'd probably seen Grayson too. "You—" Something finally moved in that face that wasn't nothing. My tears shut off. One reckless idea went through my head and kept going.

A second later I had his hand and I was pulling him into the break room off the hallway. Lock on the door. I put him against it and pressed in. He's too tall.

I had to get on my toes and hold his shoulders. "Do me a favor. Yes or no." "What favor?" He blinked. Half a second of hesitation, then I got my nerve up and kissed him.

Cole did exactly what he did last time. Nothing at all. Chapter 5 Then, right when the shame got bad enough that I was going to pull back, he answered.

That was all the encouragement I needed. I shut my eyes and kissed him like it mattered. I don't know how long. Eventually I came off him, out of air.

I looked up and made myself ask. "What's it like?

Kissing me." Cole laughed under his breath, and something bad came into that gorgeous face. "What are you trying to confirm?" My hands closed up. "Like wood?

Like there's nothing in it?" Grayson's sentence was still going around my skull on a loop. "So you're using me. To get back at Grayson." He had it in one. Of course he did.

I wanted the floor to open. That was impulse, and now I was calm again, and now it was just cheap.

I started to pull away and an arm went around my waist. "Then I'll be taking something for it." His mouth came back down on mine. Nothing about it was the same