I Refused to Be His Second Choice

My boyfriend peeled the first shrimp for my best friend before placing the second one in my bowl. It was not the first time.

Whenever he had something meant for me, he let her choose first. Whenever he made me a promise, he postponed it for her.

At dinner, my best friend smiled and praised him for behaving well that day.

He pretended to be annoyed but coaxed her with practiced ease. “If I don’t give you something to eat, you’ll start trying to break us up again.” No one noticed how long my outstretched bowl hung in midair.

I looked down at the shrimp that had come after hers and suddenly lost the desire to make excuses for them. I no longer wanted to be his second choice.

Chapter 1 I put the shrimp back in Preston Ridley’s bowl. I thought he might at least ask why I was not eating it. But the question never came.

When I looked up, he was busy trading insults with my best friend, Natalie Pierce. They went back and forth, neither of them noticing me.

When dinner ended, Natalie announced that she was full and told Preston to pay. He sighed helplessly. “You’re impossible.” Yet he still obediently took the check to the register.

From beginning to end, neither of them asked whether I had eaten enough. At the register, an employee promoted the restaurant’s limited anniversary offer.

Anyone who put fifteen hundred dollars on a prepaid account would receive a halfprice membership. Preston paid the fifteen hundred dollars.

When the employee asked which phone number to register, he gave Natalie’s without hesitation.

The employee handed Natalie the first halfprice membership card, and she slipped it into her purse with delight.

By the time Preston tried to purchase another one for me, the employee interrupted apologetically. “I’m sorry, sir.

The promotion ended at eight tonight. “It’s already 8:01. “You can wait for our next promotion.” One minute late, and so many things were already beyond reach.

Preston turned and took my hand. “It’s fine. Next time, you can just use Natalie’s card.” Without making a scene, I slipped my hand from his.

Waiting for one shrimp did not take long. Waiting for the next promotion would not be difficult either. But after two years together, why was I always the one who had to wait?

We left the restaurant and passed a Hermès boutique. Preston’s mother was inside trying on a handbag. Preston had been walking beside me.

Now he instinctively put distance between us and moved to Natalie’s side. His mother saw them in the mirror and turned with a beaming smile. “Are you two on another date?

It looks as if I’ll be welcoming Natalie as my daughterinlaw soon.” Preston did not correct her. Neither did Natalie. The scene felt painfully familiar.

The first time I visited his home, his mother had taken Natalie’s hand with the same easy affection. “So it’s you, Natalie.

I was afraid he might bring home some outsider. “You and Preston grew up together.

Of course I’d approve of you two getting together.” Natalie tried to say something, but one look from Preston silenced her. Preston came from a wealthy family.

His father was a prominent businessman, and his uncle was the dean of our college. My family was ordinary, and I came from a small regional town.

Compared with me, Natalie came from the same kind of family as the Blakes. Naturally, his mother preferred her.

I stood awkwardly inside their villa, clutching a box of tea that had cost half my monthly living allowance. As they reminisced about childhood, I had nothing to contribute.

That day, Preston introduced me only as a friend of his and Natalie’s. When his mother accepted my tea, she waved to the housekeeper. “Brenda, put this in the kitchen for iced tea.

It’ll only clutter the cabinet.” Chapter 2 Then she asked Brenda to brew the firstflush green tea Natalie had brought.

After one sip, her face brightened. “Natalie always knows how to choose.

This tea smells wonderful.” After we took Natalie home and returned to the apartment Preston and I shared, the door closed behind us and he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “You didn’t say a word the whole way home.

Are you angry? “You know Natalie and I only put on that act for my mother.

Otherwise, she’ll start forcing me onto blind dates again.” I stood motionless in the entryway. “Preston, how long do you expect me to wait? Until you marry Natalie?” “Be good.

Don’t be unreasonable. You know there’s nothing between us.” He turned my face toward him and gently wiped away my tears, his voice softening. “Just wait a little longer.

You wouldn’t want my mother forcing me to date other women, would you?” In the past, I could not bear the thought, so I waited again and again.

But no matter how long I waited, I remained an outsider behind the two of them. For my birthday that year, Preston finally promised that the two of us would celebrate alone.

When I returned home after class, he had not arrived yet. I walked into the living room and discovered that someone had decorated it with great care. Pink balloons filled the room.

A huge bouquet of pink roses stood in the center, and there was a cake on the dining table. Looking at all that pink, my grievances suddenly seemed very small.

I had never wanted much. Only one thoughtful birthday surprise. One evening alone together. One heart that put me first.

As long as Preston truly cared about me, I could soothe all my other hurts myself. He had promised to be home at seven.

As the time approached, I cooked two steaks and sat down to wait. The sky darkened beyond the window, and the city lights came on one by one. I checked my phone. Eight o’clock.

Preston still was not home. I called him. No answer. I tried again, but he still did not pick up. After a moment’s hesitation, I called Natalie.

The phone rang for a long time before disconnecting. Only after both steaks had gone completely cold did my phone finally ring.

Preston’s voice sounded exhausted. “Natalie has appendicitis. She’s in surgery. I’m sorry, but I probably can’t come back. You…” A nurse called for him before he could finish.

He hurriedly told me to get some rest and hung up. I stood for a long time among the roomful of pink balloons, phone still in my hand. In the end, I threw away both cold steaks.

Preston returned at nine the next morning. He stopped short when he saw me emerge from the bedroom pulling a suitcase. As I passed him, he seized my wrist. Only then did I look up.

Exhaustion marked his face. Dark stubble covered his chin, and his eyes were bloodshot. I had waited for him in this apartment all night.

He had spent the whole night at the hospital with Natalie. How had I forgotten? Preston and Natalie had grown up together.

Twenty years of childhood friendship outweighed the two years he had spent with me. In his heart, she was a mountain I could never cross. Then I would stop fooling myself.

I pulled my hand free and decided to walk away from the relationship. “Preston, let’s break up.” He buried his face against my shoulder, his voice low and hoarse. “I’m exhausted.

Can you not start a fight right now? At least wait until I’ve slept.” I suddenly laughed. Chapter 3 He was always so certain that I would wait for him forever.

Even when I wanted to argue or break up, he expected me to wait. “Go to sleep.

I’ll never fight with you again.” He slowly straightened, the sleepiness fading from his eyes. “What do you mean?” I said nothing.

Irritation flared in him, and his voice turned colder. “I explained what happened last night. What more do you want? It’s just a birthday. You get one every year.

Natalie is your best friend too. Was I supposed to abandon her?” I pushed him away and laughed through my tears. My birthday came every year, so it did not matter.

There was only one Natalie, so she was precious. He had countless other options.

He could have contacted Natalie’s family or called another friend, but he had chosen to stay and handle everything himself. Anything involving Natalie always came before me.

It was always more urgent than I was. I thought I would still feel hurt. I thought I would resent him and demand an explanation.

But countless hours of waiting had already drained every expectation from me. My heart was empty, and I felt calmer than ever. “I don’t want anything from you.

I just want to break up.” I moved back into the dorm. Once I had settled in, I still went to the hospital to visit Natalie. I did not expect to run into Preston in her room.

He glanced at me coolly, then looked away. Natalie noticed the tension between us. “Claire, are you and Preston giving each other the silent treatment again?

Is this about your birthday? It’s all my fault for getting sick that particular day.

As a favor to me, will you forgive him this once?” I reached over to tuck the blanket around her. “We’re not giving each other the silent treatment.

We broke up.” She grew agitated and moved suddenly. My elbow accidentally struck the area around her surgical wound. She hissed and clutched her stomach.

Before I could speak, Preston rushed over with a dark expression and shoved me aside. “She just had surgery.

Can’t you be more careful?” I stumbled back two steps and hit my side against the corner of a table. A dull pain swept through me, and I sucked in a breath.

When I recovered and looked up, Preston was frowning as he sat beside the bed and checked on Natalie.

He did not glance at me once. “I’m sorry,” I said with difficulty. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Natalie’s face had gone pale, but she still managed a smile. “It’s fine.

It’ll stop hurting soon.” She patted Preston’s arm. “Don’t be so harsh. Claire didn’t do it on purpose.” I did not stay much longer. I made an excuse and left.

Their voices drifted through the door behind me. Natalie urged him to come after me. Then I heard Preston say, “If she wants to end it, let her.

You don’t have to plead her case to me.” One week later, the university posted the names selected for the exchange program.

Natalie and I had both competed for one of two fully funded studyabroad slots. The list named Julian Carter and Natalie Pierce. My name was not there.

I stood before the notice board and read the paper from beginning to end three times. Julian deserved his place. His academic ranking was higher than mine.

But Natalie’s name was there too. I had seen her overall scores. I had surpassed her in every category. That place should not have been hers.

Chapter 4 I stared at the name until Julian spoke beside me. “You ranked first in the first round of the selection.” He stood at my side, his gaze also fixed on the notice.

Julian was in the same class as Natalie and me. We interacted often enough that we had become friendly.

His mother was a professor at our university and served on the selection committee.

I turned to him. “Wasn’t the second round supposed to be blind?” He hesitated, then lowered his voice. “The dean lobbied for Natalie during the second round.

After that, several professors changed their votes.” A gust of wind sent the trees rustling behind us. Julian said nothing more. Then I remembered.

Preston’s uncle was the dean of our college. I waited for Preston in the building where he had class.

His eyes lit up when he saw me, but his flash of delight vanished when I demanded an explanation about the exchange slot. “Did Natalie want to attend the same partner university as Julian, so you pushed me out of the program for her?” Everyone knew Natalie liked Julian.

Preston fell silent for a moment before changing the subject. “It’s only one slot. If you didn’t get it, you can pay your own way to another partner university next time.

I’ll cover the cost.” Next time. Always next time. How could he say it so casually? He knew how hard I had worked for that place.

He knew how many sleepless nights of study it had taken me to get this far. With one conversation, he had handed my opportunity to someone else. What gave him the right?

I finally broke. Every emotion I had buried came pouring out. “Preston, I can wait for a shrimp. I can wait for the next membership promotion.

I can even wait for your mother to like me. But after two years together, why am I always the one who has to wait? “You know what kind of family I come from.

My parents scrape and save to keep me in college.

Do you know that they pay my tuition by getting up before dawn every day to run their breakfast shop? “I can wait for anything else, but you cannot make me wait for my future.

You don’t have that right. No one does.” Instead of understanding, he answered with unconcealed mockery. “You and Natalie weren’t the only applicants.

Why did you assume the place had to be yours?

Or did you date me because you thought I could give you shortcuts like this?” Tears streamed down my face. “If someone was better than me, I’d accept it.

But can you honestly swear that you never spoke to your uncle?” He said nothing. Silence stretched between us.

As I looked at him, I felt as if I had never known him at all. “Preston, you will never learn to respect me.” I wiped away my tears and turned without looking back.

I knew the scales in his heart would always tip toward Natalie. And I no longer had to wait. As I crossed campus, my phone rang.

It was my father. “Sweetheart, did… did you get it?” He asked cautiously, afraid that if I had failed, the question itself would hurt me.

I remembered what I had told him when I was admitted to college: once I made something of myself, I would never let my parents get up before dawn every day to prepare breakfast for customers again.

Chapter 5 Every denial stuck in my throat.

I could not force the words out. “I got it,” I said. “Of course I did.” My father’s hearty laughter came through the phone. “I knew my girl could do it.” I bit down hard on my lip and let my tears fall soundlessly.

That night, Preston called me seven or eight times and sent more than a dozen messages.

Again and again, he promised to pay for me to attend a different university through the selffunded option. I did not reply. I blocked him without another thought.

Three days after the list was posted, the university contacted me. Julian had withdrawn from the exchange program for personal reasons.

As the next eligible candidate, I had received his slot. After the call ended, I sat stunned for a long time. I called Julian and asked why.

He laughed softly. “I couldn’t stand watching them rig the process