Leaving My Childhood Best Friend for Harvard

"I'll trick Candace into Berkeley and take USC myself. One of us up north, one down south.

Let's see her cling to me then." The boy I grew up next door to said it like it was nothing. The whole room laughed. He'd been the one pushing for us to pick the same school.

I believed him. Turned out he just didn't want me wrecking things with his dream girl. He lied to get me out of the way. Just like that, I was awake.

Before the enrollment deadline closed, I logged in and quietly switched my commit. Harvard. He wanted me gone. So I'd go farther. Chapter 1 Nobody noticed me frozen in the doorway.

Inside the room, they kept talking. One of his buddies saw Weston bite back a reply and jumped in for him. "Yeah, man.

She trails you around like gum stuck to your shoe." "Best part?

Your dream girl invites you to pull an allnighter at the gaming lounge, and Candace runs off and tells your mom." "God, she's pathetic." Weston's eyebrows pulled together.

Just for a second. He didn't say anything. Something hot and sick climbed up my chest. My mind went white. Another guy chimed in. "That's your goodytwoshoes for you.

Knows nothing but books." "And Candace is a piece of work. Watches you closer than your own mom." "No skipping class. No drinking, no fights.

Some girl slips you a love letter and she goes cold and jealous about it." Weston's jaw tightened. He bit out a curse at his teammate midgame.

One guy wasn't having it. "Wes, ease up. Joke all you want, but don't mess with her future." "Besides.

What if she really gets mad one day and runs off with someone?" The room exploded. Weston laughed the hardest. He doubled over on the couch and couldn't sit up straight. "Candace?

If she ever actually left, I'd get down on my knees and thank God." The doorframe was the only thing keeping me upright. The guy who'd spoken shut up, embarrassed.

When he'd laughed himself out, Weston stopped.

He explained it like it cost him nothing. "Look, I didn't hide USC from her on purpose." "But four more years of her clinging, watching me? Kill me.

I just wanted her far away." The room laughed again. That was it. I couldn't listen anymore, so I ran. I didn't stop until I hit a corner where nobody knew my face.

Then the tears came. Eighteen years of showing up for him. To Weston it was just me clinging. Every time I looked out for him, it was me sticking my nose where it didn't belong.

And a few days ago, filling out those commitment forms, he'd looked my parents dead in the eye and swore he only worried about me being alone, so far from home. Every word of it.

A lie. If he was sick of me, he could have just said so. He didn't have to gamble with my whole future.

He didn't have to kiss me under the cherry blossom tree on my eighteenth birthday. I'd been dazed and happy that night, clumsy, letting him. So sure we felt the same.

So sure we'd always have each other. Eighteen years of growing up beside him rolled past me, one frame at a time. Somewhere in the middle of all that grief, I woke up.

Chapter 2 Maybe it had only ever been in my head. The closeness. That kiss. Same as my college plans. Just a harmless little joke in his boring life.

I wiped my face and checked the time. Ten minutes to the deadline. Good. Still time to fix all of it. I made my hands stop shaking.

Logged back into the enrollment portal on my phone. Changed it. Here's the thing. I'd crushed the SATs. Well enough for Harvard, the school I'd dreamed about since I was a kid.

Back when we were committing, though, Weston kept working on my parents.

Said I'd barely scraped in, that I'd get stuck with a major I hated there, that Berkeley would give me way more room to choose. And honestly? I didn't want to be away from him.

So I said yes without blinking. Stay home, stay close. The funny part? I'd even picked the same major as him. Not even the one I actually wanted. Not anymore.

I switched it to Harvard. Didn't stress the major. Picked something that sounded interesting and figured I'd sort it out once I got there. All that mattered was Boston.

Weston wanted me far away. So I'd go farther. I checked it over and over. With three minutes left, I hit submit. And just like that, I could finally give him what he wanted.

Opposite ends of the country. I'd never be in his way again. I went back to the restaurant anyway. Ms. Whitfield had put the dinner together, our last one before everyone scattered.

I wasn't going to let her down. By the time I made it back to the room, almost everyone had shown up, students and teachers both. Three big tables filled the space.

There he was, at the front table. Weston always stood out in a crowd. The girl tucked in on his right was Sienna. The itgirl from the homeroom next door. My steps went stiff.

The dream girl they'd kept bringing up. It was her. I'd already made up my mind to get away from him. Didn't stop something sour from rising in me anyway.

For as long as I could remember, the seat on Weston's right had been saved for me. I pulled in a breath, dropped my head, and aimed for the back table.

Lucky for me, he was too busy topping off his girl's drink to notice me come in. Sienna was pretty. Soft, sweetmannered. Even not liking her, I had to give her that.

Sitting there beside Weston, the two of them actually looked right. The thought landed out of nowhere.

I was hurrying past his table, head down, when a sweet voice called out. "Candace! Over here!" I turned. Sienna beamed at me. Weston looked over at that.

He lifted a brow at me, then let his eyes cut to the empty seat on his left. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to. "Come on, Weston saved this spot just for you.

A bunch of guys wanted it so they could game next to him, and he turned every one of them down." Sienna said it all sugary. The words were aimed at me.

But her eyes never left Weston, teasing the whole time. Chapter 3 Weston's mouth quirked.

He reached over and patted the top of Sienna's head. "Big mouth." Sienna puffed up, fakescowling at him. "Weston! You totally flattened my hair.

You're dead." Then she reached up and pinched his cheek. Twice. The two of them fell into it like nobody else was in the room. A bickering couple straight out of a romcom.

The table erupted. "Ugh, so sweet. Don't mind us, lovebirds." "Wait, is the campus heartthrob going public?" "You blind?

Why else would the itgirl from the next homeroom crash our dinner?" "Damn, Wes. You kept that on lockdown." Sienna went pink and waved them off. "Stop, don't start.

The teachers are right there." Then she ducked her head into Weston's jacket, all shy. The screaming and laughing nearly took the roof off.

I stood there, rooted, before I could get away. Weston laughed like he couldn't hold it in. "Knock it off. We're just friends.

She came to scope out the food for her class." Someone jumped in. "No way. No plusones unless it's family." Weston dropped his head, a grin spreading, and the table went wilder.

I wasn't about to keep standing there like a fool.

But the second I turned to go, Sienna called my name again. "Candace, come sit here, or they'll keep teasing me and Weston and spreading dating rumors. Quit it, you guys.

Candace rides to school with Weston every single day. How come nobody says a thing about her? Just gonna pick on the outsider?" That threw the others for a second.

I didn't know why Sienna was saying any of it. But I wasn't going to be a prop in whatever game she and Weston were running. I kept my face flat and turned to her, even. "No thanks.

I'd rather sit by the window." The words landed. Weston went still for a beat. The looks the others shot me turned a little awkward. I was done with that side of the room.

I walked straight to the one open seat by the window and sat down right next to Ms. Whitfield. Ms. Whitfield ran a tight ship, and most of the class was scared of her.

Me included, honestly. But right then, no seat in the world felt safer than the one beside her.

She paid the noise no mind and smiled and asked about my college plans. "Shame Harvard didn't work out. But Berkeley gives you a lot more majors to choose from.

It's a good call too." I didn't answer. Just nodded. She meant it kindly. I still caught the little note of regret under it.

I'd wait till it was all official, then tell her the truth. I was still drifting when my phone buzzed. Over and over. Texts. From Weston.

Weston: [Why are you sitting all the way over there.] Weston: [Aren't you the one scared to death of Ms.

Whitfield.] Weston: [Be a good girl and come sit by me.] Weston: [?] Then a 1 flashed onto the screen. His countdown. I blocked him before he could finish it. Same move as always.

My whole life, every standoff, he'd count down to make me fold first. He already had someone sitting right next to him. And he still needed to call me over to watch them be happy?

I wasn't in the mood to care what he wanted. I put my head down and ate, done giving him one more second of my attention. Chapter 4 Except I kept feeling it.

A stare from across the room, landing on me again and again. It grated. The whole night, neither of us said another word. When it broke up, I waited outside for my ride.

Weston's brandnew Ferrari rolled up and stopped right in front of me. Window down. He looked me over, face blank. His usual silenttreatment look.

His family lived in the same gated community as mine. Normally we drove home together. My feet stalled. I stood there, deciding.

Sienna slipped past me from behind, opened the door like it was hers, and dropped into the passenger seat. Weston leaned over and buckled her seatbelt for her.

Took his time with it. The car only had two seats. Just like that, I was the punchline. I turned fast and walked toward the back of the car.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Sienna flush and sneak a kiss onto Weston's cheek. He froze half a second. The tips of his ears went red.

The whole street, all that traffic, blurred out. Like someone had dropped a thick pane of glass between me and it. Something in my chest went dull and heavy and kept sinking.

I dug my nails into my palms and made myself look fine. Everything was set, but Weston still didn't start the car. My eyes went back to it on their own.

In the rearview mirror, his eyes just barely caught mine. He was watching me too. Nothing on his face. That stillness.

He was waiting for me to cave first, same as every standoff before. What he didn't know was that I was never bowing my head to him again. My ride finally pulled up.

I got the door open and climbed in like I was running from something. The Ferrari's engine roared to life the same second my door shut. Two cars, pulling off in opposite directions.

Neither of us looked back. In bed, it all played on a loop. Weston and Sienna, every frame of it. I shut my eyes hard and ordered myself to stop.

The pillow was soaked before I noticed. I drifted off somewhere without meaning to. Sometime before dawn, hard buzzing jolted me awake. Weston, calling. I hesitated and let it ring.

It rang and rang. Then the texts started. Weston: [Candace. Get down here, or I'm climbing the wall and coming up myself.] Weston had the fingerprint code to our front gate.

He'd hopped that wall plenty of late nights before, sneaking me snacks when he got a craving. Scared he'd actually do it, I threw on a jacket and crept downstairs.

Out in the yard, Weston leaned against the cherry blossom tree. A cutesy cartoon thermos dangled from his hand. He caught sight of my sleepwrecked hair, and his mouth tugged up.

His hand came out on reflex to mess it up. I flinched sideways before he could reach me. That stopped him. His hand hung in the air.

He stared at me a long moment, then let out a low, rough laugh. "Aw, still sulking, princess? "And here I drove all that way to grab your favorite crawfish. "Meanwhile somebody's got no heart.

Wouldn't wait for me to drive her home, won't pick up, and had the nerve to block me?" He caught me off guard.

He set the thermos on the ground and, out of nowhere, hauled me into his arms. Chapter 5 My back hit the tree. Six foot one of him walled me in. I couldn't move an inch either way.

He smelled faintly of liquor. It rode the warm night air and his breath, hot against my ear. In the moonlight, my face, only mine, sat clear in his eyes. The same setting.

The same distance. The night of that first kiss came flooding back, and my eyes went wet again. Weston was the campus heartthrob. Half the school wanted him.

Growing up, I'd watched him toss out more love letters than I could count. How could anyone be this cruel. He didn't want me, but he'd still kissed me.

He had someone else, and here he was, back at my door. Was I really that easy to throw away? The sight of me crying pulled a sigh out of him.

He plucked the phone from my hand, unlocked it like he'd done it a thousand times, tapped a few things, and gave it back. "Okay, okay. Last time.

Yours truly doesn't do blocked lists. "Block me again and see what happens. You won't be able to find me, and then where will you go to cry?" That lit me up.

I stomped down hard on his foot, used the second to break loose, and threw it back at him. "I'll cry wherever I want. None of your business." The stomp got him.

His face went cold. "Fine, Candace. Then don't come crawling to tag along on the summer trip. "And movein day at Berkeley? Don't beg me to drive you either." I didn't turn around.

The whole thing was almost funny. And out of nowhere, I really wanted to know how long Weston planned to keep up this sad little act.

After that night fell apart, I didn't see him for days. Just the gossip group chat, where people posted screenshots of Sienna's feed.

She and Weston looked like they were going great. I opened one without thinking and caught the two of them, faces sweet and close. A tight, low weight settled in anyway.

I backed out and muted the chat for good. I had my mom book me a plane ticket. I'd go stay with Nana in Canada for a while, then head straight to school once the break ended.

Mom was curious about it. For a whole year I'd talked about the Europe trip Weston and I had planned once graduation hit. Now I was bailing on him out of nowhere.

I couldn't tell her the truth. That I was dodging Weston, buying myself time to get through the withdrawal. My head was too much of a mess to lay it out for my parents.

So I made up some excuse and left it there. Then, the day I flew out, of all the rotten luck, I walked right into Weston at the terminal. Sienna at his side.

He was wheeling her pink suitcase. She hung off his arm, laughing about something. I stalled dead, no time to duck. Weston just stood there, cold, and said nothing.

Sienna, though, lit right up and waved me over. "Candace! What are the odds, running into you here.

My best friend and I have never done Europe, so Wes is taking us around first. "You, all by yourself? Want to come? We could totally bring you along… "Wes wouldn't mind.

Right, Wes?" She gave his arm a little shake, all sweet. That was when I noticed the rings. A matching pair. Cartier, one on his hand, one on hers.

Chapter 6 The exact pair I'd once said I loved. Weston had scoffed at them back then. Called them basic.

He looked at me, flat, then gave Sienna a careless little nod. "Up to you." I stepped back and answered her with nothing in my voice. "Thanks.

I'm good." I didn't wait for either of them to react. I turned, gripped my suitcase, and pushed into the crowd.

Passing Weston, I caught the stiffness in him, the irritation rolling off. But whatever he felt wasn't mine to carry anymore. At the gate, I dug out my boarding pass.

My phone went off once. I opened it. A text from Weston, of all people. Weston: [I'm back next week.] Weston: [I'll take you on the trip properly then.] I turned the screen off.

Thought about it. Turned it back on. And blocked his number too. We had our own roads to walk now. No real reason to stay in touch.

I rested up for a good while at Nana and my uncle's place. Caught up on more than half the sleep senior year had stolen from me.

Now I was somewhere Weston's shadow didn't hang on everything. I made myself not look back, not scroll my friends' feeds back home. Slowly, I stopped thinking about him so much.

Some late nights a sad song would come up and the tears came anyway. But I let myself cry it all the way out, cry till I was empty and there wasn't a drop left. And then I was fine.

There was one time in the middle of all this. Weston videocalled Nana's place, looking for me. She knew we'd fallen out, so she told him I was off traveling with friends.

He didn't push it. He just never called again. Not long after, it became official. Harvard's confirmation came through. My parents got it and videocalled me right away, buzzing.

They fussed that I hadn't told them I'd switched my commit. Then they lit up. I'd actually landed Harvard, the school half the world dreams about. When it sank in, I cried too.

Happy tears this time. So glad I hadn't let Weston talk me out of my own dream. That night the class group chat filled with the news. Ms.

Whitfield tagged the handful of us who'd gotten into Harvard and MIT. The school put out its announcement too.

So I hopped back into the chat with everyone and thanked her for all the care and work she'd poured in. Someone got curious. Classmate: [So Candace went with Harvard after all.

Good for her. I felt bad about it for the longest time.] Ms. Whitfield was in a great mood. She dropped a chunk of cash in the chat and tagged everyone to grab it.

The group went off, loud as a holiday. The chat blew up in seconds. A long stretch passed. Then a gray avatar I'd know anywhere popped up on the screen. W.A.: [Tsk.

All these messages. What's the party for