Love Born in the Long Night

In my seventh year of loving Miles, I married his best friend. All because that best friend of his said: "People want what they can't have.

Miles wants another man's wife." All those years. I chased Miles with Julian's help the whole way. So I trusted Julian.

After the wedding, Miles really did start reaching out to me, again and again. I told Julian, thrilled: "Your plan actually worked!" He lowered his eyes.

After a moment, he smiled. "All right. Let's pick a time to get divorced." I nodded, grateful. But the night before the divorce, Julian was in a car accident.

By the time I got there, all that was left were his last words: "I'm sorry. I kept you this long for a selfish reason of my own.

Now you can finally go after your own happiness." I stood there crying, blank. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the day we first met.

The boy tipped his head down, careless, the tail of his voice curling up: "It's okay. Don't cry. I'll help you get him." Chapter 1 "Mr.

Vance made a point of drawing up a will before he died. His entire estate goes to you." The lawyer inclined his head. My throat was dry. I found myself pulling my bag closer.

Inside that bag, of all things, were the divorce papers. Unsigned. I suddenly thought of the night before. Julian in an apron, cooking with a serious look on his face.

I'd come home to that big house of ours in high spirits.

He glanced at me, one corner of his mouth lifting. "What's got you so happy?" I kept it mysterious and asked him back instead: "Why isn't the chef cooking?

You're doing it yourself?" He set the dishes I liked on the table, his voice low and warm. "Maybe because—today is my second wedding anniversary?" I blanked for a second, then said, smiling, "Since when do we celebrate that?" I sat down at the table.

Julian slid the hair tie off his wrist and gathered up my hair where it had fallen loose over my shoulders, tying it gently with his long fingers. "Go wash your hands." I looked over at him, unable to stop grinning. "Listen to this.

Miles has been texting me for days." His hands stilled. I went on: "After all these years, I finally got a response! You really are Miles's best friend.

You know him better than anyone." When Julian saw I had no intention of washing my hands, he turned, got a warm damp towel, and carefully wiped my hands for me.

His voice was flat. "So you two are making progress?" I went a little shy. "…I guess you could call it that?" Julian lowered his eyes. After a moment, he smiled. "All right.

Let's pick a time to get divorced." At first I just froze. Then came a small, lost feeling. I knew what Julian meant.

Both of us knew perfectly well we weren't husband and wife in any real sense, that there was no love in it, but we were legally married all the same.

If things were moving with Miles, that connection had to be cut. The truth was, all those years had gone like this.

I trailed around after Miles, and he barely gave me the time of day, close one week and gone the next. It was Julian who'd been helping me chase him the whole time.

By the end, I couldn't even say whether what I felt for Miles was love or just fixation. It was Julian who'd stayed beside me, and Julian was the one I knew better.

Even without love between us, there was a deep friendship. Him saying it out of nowhere like that… I was a little at a loss. And right behind that came the gratitude, filling me up.

Julian had put himself on the line to help me chase another man. What a noble thing to do! I wouldn't take a cent. I'd leave everything to him— But why.

Why was I the one who ended up with all of it? A lot of people came to Julian's funeral. Chapter 2 Most of them were people he did business with. I had no interest in playing host.

I didn't know why. I was a little worn out, a little in pain, and a little like I wanted to cry. Until a tissue appeared in front of me.

The man in the black suit looked at me. "I'm sorry for your loss." It was the face I'd thought about day and night.

My lips moved. "…Miles." He made a low sound and stayed at my side.

After a long time he said, "The two years you were married to him, I regretted it more times than I can count." My lashes trembled.

Miles said quietly, "Regretted losing you." He was exactly as I remembered. Goldrimmed glasses, cool and steady, the kind of man everyone puts on a pedestal and no one can reach.

No matter how I followed after him. He never once looked back at me. Miles's mouth curved. "But I know you haven't stopped feeling something for me.

Have you?" My throat was dry. "…This is Julian's funeral." It was deeply disrespectful to him. Miles laughed softly, but his voice stayed indifferent. "Does that matter? He's dead.

There's nothing standing between us now." The sky was overcast. A cold wind came through and moved the hem of my black dress. The scene in front of me started to blur.

I kept backing up. Someone nearby saw and said urgently, "Is her blood sugar low? Somebody hold her up!" In a daze, I saw an ordinary day from after Julian and I got married.

Julian was in the big, cozy house, a lazy smile at the corner of his mouth, sorting through a pile of presents. When he saw me, he raised an eyebrow.

I asked, surprised, "What's all this?" "Presents. For you." "Huh?" I said. "It isn't a holiday or anything.

Why?" Julian leaned against the wall, lazy about it. "Did Miles upset you again?" I scratched my cheek, embarrassed. "Not exactly.

It's just that his family's been setting him up with people lately, and I…" Julian waved a finger and cut off the rest of it. He smiled, offhand. "Mm. It's fine.

Your boyfriend upset you? Isn't that what you've got a husband here for?" My face went red at once, and I said, flustered and stung: "No!

You know perfectly well he and I aren't… and you and I aren't…" Julian seemed set on teasing me. "How are you and I not?

Our marriage certificate is still sitting in the study drawer." I mumbled, "We agreed, didn't we?

The marriage was to help me chase Miles…" Julian lowered his eyes, his expression unchanged. He paused a few seconds, then said: "Come open your presents.

I picked every one of them out with care." After all that, I really was a lot happier.

I went to unwrap them, delighted. "Honestly, if Miles were a tenth as good to me as you are, I'd have everything I want." The scene began to fade.

I reached out uselessly, trying to catch hold of something. It did no good. Julian's last words came back to me, the ones the lawyer had passed on. "I'm sorry.

I kept you this long for a selfish reason of my own. Now you can finally go after your own happiness." …Go after my own happiness?

The thing was, I think I'd already been happy enough. Miles frowned and reached to steady me. "Are you all right?" I turned aside, out of reach.

His face darkened for an instant, and he reached to grab my arm. I shoved him away, hard. The air went stiff. I looked down. The tears wouldn't stop.

I said quietly: "This is my husband's funeral." I opened my eyes again. Chapter 3 Bright sun overhead. That was when I realized I was standing on the track from my student days.

While I stood there stunned, a tissue appeared in front of me. I looked up, dazed. The boy tipped his head down, careless, the tail of his voice curling up: "It's okay. Don't cry.

I'll help you get him." Only then did I think to wipe my face. It was streaked with tears.

Julian scoffed. "Is bawling over Miles worth it?" Then his expression tightened, as if he thought that might have hurt me, and he added: "I know him. Let me help you get him.

What do you say?" My mouth opened, my voice rough. "Julian." He raised his brows slightly. "You know me?" I nodded.

The next second, I threw myself against his chest and gripped the hem of his shirt. The faint, familiar scent of him. My eyes stung. The boy's lean, slight body went slightly stiff.

He said coldly, "Miles is a real piece of shit." Just then, a cool voice said, "Julian." The boy lifted his eyes. Miles's gaze came over. "Who's this?" I didn't want to see Miles.

So I kept my face buried against Julian. But Julian seemed to think I didn't want Miles to see me. He said evenly, "My cousin.

Her family cut off her allowance, so she's here crying to me about it." Miles frowned and didn't press. "There's something I need to tell you." "Mm?" "Priscilla's been bringing me breakfast every day.

Next time you run into her, tell her to stop." Julian's voice was flat. "Why don't you tell her yourself?" Miles said coldly, "The sight of her annoys me." Julian said, "Fine." Miles turned and left.

After a moment Julian stepped back, and I had to come out of his arms. He met my swollen red eyes.

Julian's mouth twisted. "I knew you didn't want him seeing us together, so I lied." I sniffed. "He can know." Julian paused. "I overstepped, then." Me: "…?" I didn't look too closely at his tone.

Instead I went all in and stared at him. "Let's date." Julian was fairly surprised. But his expression didn't change much. His black eyes went over me. He asked: "Do you like me?

Or do you just want to make Miles jealous?" I hesitated, and it was that pause that made Julian look away, listless.

After I married Julian, a lot of the sharpness and distance in him had eased off. There was always a faint smile in his eyes when he looked at me.

But now he was still that tired, careless boy, and every so often something cold and mean showed through. After I saved Julian's number, I sent a friendly cat GIF.

The three dots kept bouncing in the thread. I went ahead and called him.

Julian picked up, and the first thing he said was: "If you're going after Miles, you can't do it the way you have been." What? So he thought I was actually desperate to chase Miles?

I listened with half an ear.

His voice stayed flat as he went on. "First, you need to keep your distance from him." Me: "…" When Julian got no answer, he asked calmly, "Any problem with that?" I still didn't say anything.

He paused slightly. "Or is it that you can't stop going to find him?" Chapter 4 I thought about it. "Not exactly.

But I've got a lot of energy and I like having someone to hang around with. If I can't go to him, I'll come to you from now on. That work?" Julian was quiet for a long time.

I heard wind moving through branches, a dry rustle. I couldn't tell whether it came from my end or his. "Suit yourself," he said. My eyes lit up.

Then, a few days later, at one of the student club's events. I came with food I'd put real work into, looking for someone among the people standing around in twos and threes.

A girl saw me and said hi. Then, easy as anything, she pointed me in the right direction. "The person you're looking for is over there." I looked where she pointed.

And met a pair of black eyes. Miles's brows drew together, almost imperceptibly, with a faint displeasure in it. Soon the rest of the club noticed us too.

Eyes came at me from every direction. One of them went further, loud enough for everyone: "Yo, Hill, your little groupie's here for you again.

Aw, so thoughtful, so wifely, she even brought you food. Guess you're not coming to eat with us later?" Miles's face went cold.

He came toward me, his voice distant and reproachful. "I told you to stop coming to find me.

Which part didn't you understand, Priscilla?" I let out a breath and said honestly: "I'm not here for you." Somebody snickered.

A girl who'd been standing next to Miles raised her eyebrows. "Do you even believe that? Give the playinghardtoget thing a rest. Wherever Miles goes, you have to follow?

He can't even come to a club event without you hanging on?" Others chimed in. "Right?

What an act." "Everybody knows exactly what she's after." "Miles can't stand her and she still tags along…" I frowned. Miles let them talk over each other.

Only when they'd about run out did he say: "You should go. You're not a member of the club.

You're not welcome here." I said flatly, "I already told you, I'm not here for you, and the food isn't for you either." Miles's patience ran out. He put his hand out to me.

I didn't get it. "What are you doing?" He said impatiently, "I told you, I'm not eating it. If you insist on giving it to me, I'll throw it away." Hold on.

How was I only now noticing how full of himself he was? The mockery kept rolling around us, the crowd murmuring, there for the show.

Then a voice cut through the noise, lazy and clear and careless, with an invisible cold edge to it: "What's all this noise about?" The racket stopped short.

Julian came through the crowd at an unhurried pace, toward us.

His face was tired and unbothered, his black eyes passing lightly over the ones who'd been jeering, and the churnedup mood flattened out under it.

I'd finally found the person I came for, and my shoulders came down. I walked straight over to Julian and pushed the warm insulated container into his hand without hesitating.

I lifted my eyes to the stunned crowd, every word clear: "Take a good look. This meal I brought is for Julian. Specifically for him