My Idol Imploded

I went in for a big hug with my gorgeous idol, and she dodged me with a look of pure disgust. I'm the only daughter of a media mogul.

To meet my idol, I pulled strings to get myself onto a hit reality show, taping the same episode as her. "Where did this connection hire even come from?

Who knows how many old men's beds she crawled into to get here.

Disgusting." And the young actress I'd never liked, the one famous mostly for getting dragged, yanked me behind her. "Where'd this cupcake come from? Duck behind me.

I'll cuss her out for you. My reputation's already in the gutter anyway." Mom, I found a new wife! Chapter 1 I'm the only daughter of a media mogul.

I'm also a hardcore stan of Valentina Loman, the biggest actress out there.

The second it was confirmed she'd be doing Pull Up a Chair, I whined and begged and wore my dad down until he got me onto the guest list for the same taping.

Officially, I was a new signing at Meridian Entertainment. Dad was exasperated with me. "Everybody in this business builds a version of themselves for the public.

Only an idiot like you buys it." I threw a full tantrum. "Don't care, don't care. My queen Valentina is the best person in the whole world." Dad rubbed his temples. "Fine.

Go see for yourself. Then you'll know." He agreed to let me do the show, with one condition attached. I couldn't tell anyone who I really was.

He said people in this business size you up and serve you accordingly, and the minute they knew what I was worth, they'd treat me differently.

I argued back. "My queen is beautiful inside and out.

Even if I'm just a newcomer, she'll still be sweet to me." Then I thought about the other actress taping with us, and my forehead scrunched up. "Rowan Drayton, though.

She's got such a nasty temper. She might actually pick on me." Rowan Drayton was known in the industry as just a pretty face, nothing going for her but that face.

Diva behavior, no manners with people who'd been in the business longer, pushing newcomers around. There was so much dirt on her. I had a pretty low opinion of her.

But then I remembered I'd be seeing my queen in a few days, and my mood shot right back up.

Dad watched me walk around frowning one second and grinning like a fool the next, and shook his head. "Dumb kid." Pull Up a Chair was a hit comfort show, slow and cozy.

The regular cast was a veteran actor, a longtime host, and a young actor who was having a moment.

Every episode, production invited a few guests out to the location to spend three days and two nights of farm life with the regulars.

That morning I set out for the location glowing. It was a farming town in the scenic countryside of upstate New York. I met the crew at the edge of town.

The camera operators already had their cameras set up. The field producer asked, "This is your first reality show, Ms. Wexler?" I nodded. Forget first show.

This basically counted as my first day in the business. Then he asked, "Do you know who else is guesting this episode, Ms. Wexler?" I smiled. "I do.

My idol's here." "Who that is, though, I'm keeping to myself for now." We got in the car and drove a smooth stretch of asphalt, then a rough stretch of dirt road.

It took about an hour to get there. I got out and immediately spotted a very familiar figure climbing out of another car with a suitcase in hand. It was Valentina! Oh my god!

I was looking at my queen! I took off running without even grabbing my own suitcase, but before I got close she'd already gone into the yard.

All I got was the back of her, graceful as anything.

Someone from production caught up behind me. "Sloane, you have to carry your own bag!" Chapter 2 I apologized fast and reached for the suitcase. And promptly wrenched my back.

Disaster. I'd packed too much. Our security guy had carried everything for me right up until I left. On my own, I couldn't lift it at all.

And this stretch was gravel, so the wheels were useless. I was still panicking when another black van pulled up behind me. The door slid open and a stunning woman ducked out.

She took off her sunglasses and glanced over at me. It nearly blinded me. I had to admit it. Rowan's reputation was garbage, but the woman was genuinely beautiful.

That face was a work of art.

She walked over with her own little suitcase in hand and stopped. "Can't lift it?" I nodded. "Hold this." She tossed me her suitcase and took mine. "Mine's heavy," I said, alarmed.

Rowan hefted it, face blank. "It's fine." Me: … This Rowan wasn't quite the scandalplagued pretty face I had in my head.

By the time we walked into the yard together, Valentina had already made the rounds with the regulars.

Tanner Prine, the young actor having his moment, came over all warmth and took both our suitcases. I trailed behind Rowan and said hello one by one to a circle of veterans.

When I got to Valentina, my heart went wild. I stuck out my hand, awkward. "Valentina, hi.

I'm Sloane Wexler." She gave me a gentle smile and took my hand. "Hi there, hon." Aaaaahhh, she was so beautiful, so sweet!

Behind me Rowan let out a cold little laugh and shouldered past us toward the house. I glanced at the camera beside us and thought to myself: Classic Rowan.

All these cameras rolling and she won't even put on a show. Valentina patted my hand. "Don't take it personally. Ro's probably just tired." Warmth flooded through me.

That was my queen, always so understanding! Grant Finley, the host, came over. "We're heading out to pick corn in a bit. You two want to come?" Valentina laughed. "That sounds fun.

I'll come." My queen was going, so obviously I was going! My hand shot up. "Me too!" Grant pointed at a room off to the left. "Go change in there.

You'll want something easier for the field." "Okay." Valentina and I walked over side by side. I was buzzing the whole way. "Valentina, I'm a fan!

I like you so much!" Valentina looked a little bashful. "Thank you." "I've seen every show and every movie you've done!

You're such a good actress!" "And, and—" Still talking, we pushed the door open and went inside.

The camera operator didn't follow us in, and there were no cameras mounted in the room. The smile dropped off Valentina's face. She turned her head and looked at me.

Her eyes were cold. "You're loud." I froze. "Sorry," I said automatically.

She didn't say anything else, just turned and went into the bathroom to change. "Heh." A snicker came from the corner. That was when I noticed Rowan lying on the bed.

She had a shirt over her face, but I knew she wasn't asleep. "Rowan? What are you doing in here?" She pulled the shirt down and looked at me. "Carsick.

Resting." I went over to her. "Rowan, we're going out to the cornfield in a bit. You coming?" "Nope. Too tired." I looked at her and didn't say anything else.

Chapter 3 No wonder the gossip accounts were always calling her a diva. She really was kind of highmaintenance. But not in a way that made you hate her.

While we were talking, Valentina finished changing and came out.

She didn't look at either of us, just headed for the door. "Valentina!" I called after her. "Um, I've liked you for years.

I'm really happy I got to see you today." I asked carefully, "Could I maybe hug you?" Valentina gave me a sideways look. "No." I stopped midstep, staring at her. "Valentina…" She came right up to me and looked me over, head to foot.

It was not a polite look. "You're filthy." "Where did this connection hire even come from? Who knows how many old men's beds she crawled into to get here.

Disgusting." The words went off next to my ear like a thunderclap. I couldn't believe that had come out of her mouth. I stood there rigid.

Valentina advanced on me, step by step. "What? Did I hit a nerve?" "Let me give you some advice. Don't leech off my name.

You're a newcomer, and if you really cross me, one word from me and nobody in this business will ever hire you again.

You want to test that?" She backed me up until I dropped onto the bed. Did my fave just… implode? She imploded! My dad had been right!

The person I'd liked all these years was a persona she'd built. There wasn't a piece of me left intact. I couldn't get a word out. I couldn't have imagined it.

The idol I'd liked for seven or eight years was this vicious? Valentina's mouth twitched, and she turned to go. "Hold on." Rowan's voice came out of nowhere and made her jump.

Like me, Valentina hadn't noticed there was anyone else in the room. When she saw it was Rowan, her brows drew together. "What?" Rowan rolled over and sat up, taking her time.

She walked up to Valentina and just held her eyes. Rowan had come out of modeling. Killer figure. Standing in front of Valentina, she had half a head on her.

She won on presence alone. "You've got years on her. She's a kid. And you're out here making up sex rumors about her?

Not a good look." Valentina scoffed. "How is this your business? Your own name stinks. You've got time to mind other people's?" They were about to go at each other.

I snapped out of it and stood up to pull them apart. But Rowan reached back and pulled me behind her. She tipped her head slightly.

Her profile, backlit, was gorgeous. "Where'd this cupcake come from? Stand behind me. I'll cuss her out for you.

My reputation's already in the gutter anyway." I stared at her, dazed. My heart was slamming. Mom, I found a new wife!

Rowan looked at Valentina. "Apologize to her." Valentina said, "Why would I?" Rowan pulled a phone out of her pocket, casual about it. "You don't have to.

I accidentally recorded all of that anyway.

I could sell it to a tabloid and make a little money." Valentina's face changed. "You wouldn't dare." Rowan leaned back against the wall, all lazy lines.

There was something beautiful about the way she did it. She smiled. "What wouldn't I dare? My name is already trash.

There's nothing left to be scared of." "I'm not like some people, living off a persona." Valentina looked at her, then at me. Her face soured.

After a good thirty seconds of standoff, she pulled a smile onto her mouth. "I'm sorry, hon." "I said the wrong thing back there.

I hope you won't take it to heart." Chapter 4 Say what you want about her, the woman can pivot. Then she huffed, turned, and walked out of the room. It took me a minute to recover.

I shuffled over to Rowan. "Thank you." "Sure," Rowan said, like it was nothing.

I looked at her phone. "What are you going to do with the recording?" Rowan laughed. "There's no recording. I made it up." "What?" My eyes went huge.

She looked pleased with herself and patted the top of my head. "You really are a cupcake." Rowan, who hadn't been going to the cornfield, suddenly decided to come.

Before we left, I got away from the cameras and called my dad. "Hey, Dad. That movie you put money into. Have they cast the lead yet?" "Not yet.

Weren't you the one pushing hard for that Valentina?

I was about to have someone reach out." "Hold off on that." I pressed my lips together. "I've just decided she isn't right for it after all." Dad started to push for more, but I heard production calling me.

He heard it too. "Go on, then. It's your money in that picture, so it's your call.

We'll talk when you're back." "Okay." I hung up and slid back into the group like nothing had happened.

Valentina was in the middle of a little crowd, smile gracious and perfectly calibrated. She was very good at keeping up appearances. I used to be so sure I knew her.

Now that confidence was in pieces. "Watching her pretty close." Rowan had appeared next to me at some point.

She kept her eyes ahead, tone casual. "You like her?" She'd seen the whole thing in that room anyway, so I stopped trying to save face. "I used to." Rowan sniffed. "Terrible taste." Me: … She picked up her pace, passed me, and moved to the front.

Every camera swung to her at once. That face knew how to take a lens. Valentina's expression flickered, then smoothed out fast. But I saw it. She was angry.

Because Rowan had stolen her spotlight.

At the cornfield Grant showed us how to pick, then pointed at the block behind him. "This whole section is ours, and it has to get done today.

Let's split up into groups." He winked at me. "I hear Sloane is a devoted fan of Valentina. Well, I've got to give you your shot.

How about you go with Valentina, take the rows on the left?" I blanked for a second, not quite catching up. Valentina laughed. "Sure. Sloane and I really clicked.

We can talk about anything." Then she came over all warmth and took my hand. "Come on." Like a gentle, worldly big sister.

She was a completely different person from the one in that room. Then we turned, and with her back to the cameras, I watched her give Grant an enormous eye roll.

And swear under her breath. "I just got my goddamn nails done and he wants me picking corn?" She had my wrist, and her grip was strong enough to hurt a little.

On the walk out, the camera operator hung back a ways.

She kept her voice low. "I warned you not to leech off my name." I pulled my hand free. "Doesn't all that pretending get exhausting?" I said flatly. She gave me a startled look