The Movie Star I Left Asked If We Were Ever Platonic

"Am I platonic? You'd know, wouldn't you?" Cassius Thorne asked me that on camera, in front of the entire cast. Seven years ago, I was the leading lady in his first project.

Seven years later, he's the Best Actor winner nobody is allowed to touch, and I'm the washedup ex.

Not long ago I answered that same question with a yes, and his fans and hers buried me under ten thousand comments. This time I gave the perfect answer. The safe one.

The one publicists write. "Oh, I wouldn't know." He raised his eyes, slow, and handed the question straight back to me. In front of everyone.

Chapter 1 The hashtag #IsCassiusThornePlatonic shot to the top of the trending list.

The replies all had the same flavor. [Don't make Cash laugh.] [Can we stop spreading virgin rumors about this man?] [Cassius Thorne: platonic?

Never heard of that position.] [Cash strikes me as the type who'd sweettalk you all night and never stop.] [Kidding.

He skips the sweettalking.] My manager tapped into the second trending topic, face flat, and turned the phone toward me. I scrolled. Slowly. [I can't.

Have you seen the way he looks at Vivienne Slate? Like he wants to eat her.

And somebody out there thinks he's platonic???] [Certain washedup individuals are feeling jealous.] [It's just tacky.

She was the female lead in his first project when he was nineteen. I used to ship them. Now it's like chewing dirt.] [That was then.

Do you know what tier he's on now?] [And this lady is booked on the same show as our CassVi. Begging her to leave them alone.] [Not a chance.

She'll be hovering around him trying to reheat the old story.] "You've got two roads." My manager wasn't happy. "Either you lean in and go viral for being hated, exactly like they want.

Or you keep your head down around Cassius and Vivienne until nobody can see you." I made a small sound of agreement. I was taking the second road. Not for Cassius.

For the series airing in the fall. A small production that can't afford a lead the whole internet is screaming at. There were still a few episodes left to tape.

I needed to carry the fee and the exposure back to that crew intact, and not say one extra word. "Did you use your brain at all when you answered?" My manager said it through her teeth.

I sighed. "What was I supposed to say? That Cassius Thorne is definitely not platonic?" She stared at me. "You say you don't know. You say you're not sure. Done." That stopped me.

Right. I knew the answer so well that it never occurred to me a neutral one existed. So I lied instead.

On instinct. "Forget it." She waved a hand. "Half of it's on the reporters chasing clicks." Cassius started at nineteen and never hit a wall.

One role, then a bigger one, then a bigger one after that. By the end he owned half the industry.

The only problem was that every time the public wanted to discuss his love life, they dragged me out of storage. He got along with every leading lady he ever had. Not one bad word.

Except me. I was the female lead in his first project at nineteen, and I burned it down with him in public, with zero regard for what we used to be. Then time did its work.

Even the hate wore off. We became two strangers with nothing between us. No overlap. No pulse. Until his film with Vivienne Slate came out.

They spent the whole movie at each other's throats. Not a couple. Somehow more than one. The fans lost their minds.

To promote it, the two of them signed on to a light celebrity reality show. And that show, as luck would have it, had invited me too.

So for every episode after this, I would sit across from him and Vivienne, smiling, playing set dressing. For a project neither of them could be bothered to name.

Chapter 2 The estate the show rented in Malibu was enormous. I sat in the corner and stayed quiet. Cassius and Vivienne came in last, together, the way headliners do.

Everyone stood up to say hello. I stood too. I didn't speak. Then Vivienne crossed the room and put her hand out first. "You're Josephine Ward, right?

I've heard so much about you." When she said it, something lit behind her eyes. Not the polite kind of lit. Two conversations stalled out at once.

I smiled at her. "Hi." Cassius glanced over without much interest and took the seat farthest from mine. He wasn't going to greet me. I wasn't going to greet him.

Vivienne nodded once, turned, and sat down beside him. I remembered what my manager told me. Don't look at him. Not once. Never first.

And if it helps, play cheerleader while he and Vivienne do their thing, so the audience can't call me bitter about their happiness.

One of the actresses, a friend of Vivienne's, turned to me with a pleasant little smile. "So, Jo. Do you have anything we'd know you from?" Anything they'd know me from.

I'd wrapped a project recently. It hadn't aired yet. Other than that. Seven years ago, the streaming series that put Cassius and me on the map. The view count was obscene.

I hadn't shot a thing in the seven years I'd been in Paris, and people still knew my name. "No," I said. Calm. Nobody spoke after that.

Every person in that room knew the numbers on that series. I swallowed them. Something heavy landed on the side of my face. Someone was looking at me.

I smiled and said it again. "I've got a new one airing in the fall. Before that? No." I knew exactly what would happen if I said his name, or the name of that show. Cloutchasing.

Again. Vivienne's eyes flicked to Cassius. He gave her nothing, so she brightened. "We'll all watch it, then." "That's really kind of you," I said.

She let it go and leaned in to say something private to him. The rest of the cast had that shipping look on their faces. The cameras stayed on the two of them.

I let my shoulders down and studied them without appearing to. Seven years, and Cassius hadn't changed much. A little older around the edges.

He still moved like nothing could reach him. When he wasn't smiling, his face turned into a weapon. Like right now. It took me about a second. He was in a foul mood.

Then Vivienne said something I couldn't hear, and his jaw loosened. There's a reason people call her the perfect leading lady for Cassius Thorne.

His actual first leading lady was sitting in the corner of that room, telling the group she had nothing to her name. Sweet, soft, pretty. She did look right next to him.

I looked away. Before we shot episode two, the comments from episode one found me. [I can't with Josephine Ward. Can she stop playing hard to get?

Everyone knows about her and Cassius.] [She wants his attention, obviously.] [Nobody actually cares though.] [Dying.

She's trying to farm heat and she didn't even catch the look he gave her.

Disgusted and annoyed.] [Cash took one look at her and knew his sweet little show was about to get wrecked.] [Only our beautiful, kind Vivi would even bother with her.] Well.

That backfired. How was I still getting dragged? The director invited me onto this show. The network wanted ratings. I wanted the fee. I wasn't here to wreck anything.

My face must have locked up, because Vivienne got out of her seat and came straight for me.

Chapter 3 Her voice was soft, and she skipped the warmup. "If you walked away from all this back then, why come back?" She pitched it so only the two of us could hear. I paused.

The hostility came through clean. "I'm not trying to take Cassius from you," I said, and I meant it. "He and I are on very bad terms." Her smile pulled back a little.

Those wide eyes stayed on me. "Take him?" Her lips barely moved. "You really think a lot of yourself." Then she turned and walked off.

I wanted to tell her that if I'd wanted him, I wouldn't have left seven years ago. I didn't say a word. I was watching her go when I met Cassius's eyes across the room.

He didn't look away. He let his gaze travel over me instead. Nothing behind it. Vivienne said something to him, and only then did he pull back. I dropped my eyes too.

The theme card for the day's shoot read: [Cozy House Days: Truth or Dare.] I had a bad feeling. Then the game started.

Vivienne lost several rounds in a row, and every time they asked her the same kind of thing. First impression of Cassius. Funny stories from set with Cassius. I let myself relax.

There was nothing here for me. Then Cassius lost. One of the male actors grinned. "Truth or dare?" "Dare," Cassius said. Flat. The room made noise.

He was the first person all day to pick dare. The actor didn't invent a question. He pulled a card from the deck. [Hold eye contact with someone of the opposite sex in this room.

Ten seconds.] Everybody laughed on cue. I laughed too. I was still laughing when I noticed Cassius was looking at me. Wait. What? His eyes tipped up at the corners.

His attention settled on my face, light as anything. I stalled out. Then a smile came onto his mouth, slow. It floated there. It never reached his eyes. His lips parted.

I was already on my feet. "Sorry. Cramps. Bathroom." And I walked out fast. I knew he wasn't going to pick me. He couldn't. But for one second my heart tripped.

And my body stood up and left before my head caught up. I stayed gone about ten minutes. They'd played several more rounds by the time I came back.

He and Vivienne had surely done their ten seconds by now. I let out a breath. Then I lost the very next round. I picked truth without hesitating.

If I drew some deranged dare, I was finished. A second later, Vivienne's friend spoke up again. "Jo, I watched that old interview of yours. You said Cash was platonic?

Why would you say that?" She asked it curious. Innocent. I locked up. Dragging out the thing I'd already been buried for, on camera, so it could bury me twice. I let a moment pass.

One wrong sentence here and the fall release would eat it. I shook my head. "I misheard the question that day.

I answered carelessly." She wasn't letting go. "Well, you can hear it fine now. So what do you think?" Nobody stepped in for me. Even the production team was waiting on my answer.

Waiting for a bigger conversation. Bigger ratings. I held still. Then I smiled and handed them something factual and far away. "Oh, I wouldn't know." She made a small sound.

She wasn't satisfied. A few of the other guests let the disappointment show. Vivienne kept her polite smile and said nothing.

I had just started to breathe again, thinking it was over. Then Cassius raised his eyes. Chapter 4 "Am I platonic? You'd know, wouldn't you?" Everything in me stopped.

The room was quiet enough to hear people breathing. My lips moved. Nothing came out. Cassius leaned back into the couch, lifted his chin, and held my eyes.

He said it again, colder. "Josephine Ward. You don't know?" Did I not know? Of course I knew. A boy who finds out what that feels like doesn't go back to small tastes.

By the time we were grown, Cassius would pull me into entire nights of it, and he never once got tired.

When it got to him, he'd hold me hard against his chest and say it rough. "Josie. I love you… I love you so much." I was never good with words.

So I'd tip my head back, find his mouth in the dark, and kiss him instead. We were so young.

We had nothing, we couldn't see as far as tomorrow, and we still made each other every promise there is about never letting go.

Which is why, when the promises broke, all that was left was cruelty and shame. But now. Here. This room. Everything between Cassius and me, the love and the hate, all of it.

Am I supposed to know? I came here to be the contrast. Him and Vivienne in the light. Me for scale.

All I had to do was play the bitter, colorless side character in their story and watch them be happy. That was the whole job. I looked at him and said nothing.

Then Vivienne gave his sleeve a small tug. "We're on a show. Whatever you're angry about, this isn't where it comes out." Cassius didn't move. His eyes stayed nailed to me.

Like he wasn't finished until I gave him an answer. The temperature in that house dropped. Even the director wiped his forehead, lost, with no idea what he was watching.

Finally I said it, one word at a time. "I don't know." Something darkened behind his eyes. I kept going. "Mr. Thorne, whatever we had against each other stayed in the past.

I'd like to finish this show with you and with everyone else, smoothly. And I'd like you not to make things hard for me over… old business." The last part came out quiet.

His mouth pulled to one side, thin and cold, and the dark came up behind his eyes. "Make things hard for you?" He closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he passed over me like I was furniture. "You think you rate that much of my attention?" Then he stood and walked out. I stayed in my seat with my palms soaked.

So that's what it feels like. Getting cut open in public by the person who knows you best. The rest of the room watched it happen and couldn't catch up.

In the end Vivienne bit her lip and went after him. Shooting stopped there. I got ready to be politely uninvited.

He clearly couldn't stand the sight of me, and if he asked them to cut me, the network would say yes. Buzz or no buzz. But I stayed. Nothing happened to me at all.

Not one person brought up replacing me. I didn't think much of it then. The night before we reshot episode two, everyone was in the house. Vivienne knocked on my door.

She came in, folded her arms, leaned against the wall, and looked down at me. "We already worked it out with the production team. That whole section gets cut.

Don't sit there dreaming it's going to ride you into a comeback." "I wasn't dreaming that," I said. How could they think that was a comeback?

If I got out of this without being screamed off the planet, I'd call it a win. She laughed once, with nothing warm in it. "I'd genuinely love to know what happened between you two.

To make him hate you like that." Before I could answer, she kept going. "You left back then. So why turn up in front of him again?

Because things aren't going great for you now, and there's still something you want out of him.

Right?" Chapter 5 I frowned. "If that's the only reason you came in here, you can go." "Stay away from him." She looked at me like I was something stuck to her shoe. "It took me forever to get him settled.

Don't undo it every time he has to look at you." I didn't answer. Was I having a wonderful time running into him?

On her way out she dropped it over her shoulder. "When Cassius is with me, his mood is never this bad." Then she turned and left. I put a hand over my eyes.

Why was there this much theater in one house? Still, the line sat with me. Cassius used to say he was only happy when I was next to him.

That I was the only person he ever really smiled around. Time does what it wants. I shut the door, stretched out on the bed, and reported in to my manager.

Me: [Dana, I'm following your instructions to the letter! There have been a couple of incidents, but they were all Cassius doing something insane.] Her reply came fast. Dana: [Fine.

What did he do?] Me: [Hard to say. He just can't stand the sight of me. Feels like the second I walk into a room he wants to take me apart.] She took a few minutes on that one.

Dana: [Seriously? I've been in this industry a long time and I've never heard of Cassius Thorne hating anybody. You're the first.

You're the only.] Was I supposed to thank him for that? I closed the chat and scrolled Instagram for a while.

An actor I knew had posted a group photo. [Thank you Cash for dinner for the whole crew.

Working with Cash and Viv has been a joy, everyone's so in sync, hope we get to do it again!] A dozenplus people at a restaurant.

Cassius and Vivienne stood dead center, standing close. She was smiling with her whole face. It was radiant. She wasn't wrong. Next to her, his face let go of something.

I put the phone down. The next day. Everything was set for the shoot. Vivienne chatted with Cassius, all smiles, and he never once looked over at me.

But a few of the guests and crew kept watching the two of us with something curious behind their eyes.

The network cut the Truth or Dare segment from episode two entirely and swapped in a cooking challenge. We started right away. A couple of the guests looked pained.

Someone asked him, "Cash, can you cook?" "No," Cassius said. Mild. I glanced over before I could stop myself. He can't?

He propped himself against the sink and watched Vivienne handle a knife with lazy attention. She wasn't good at it either. Stiff hands. One pass came close to her finger.

But the network wanted a full sitdown dinner for the whole house in two hours. Eight dishes plus sides.

I let out a breath and stepped up. "I'll cook." Back when Cassius and I shared that cheap walkup, dead broke, we took turns making dinner.

After I moved to Paris I did all of it myself. Vivienne looked at me. "I don't eat cilantro.

Cassius doesn't eat garlic." Me: "…Okay." Her eyes curved. "Thanks so much." Then she sat down on the couch and started a jigsaw puzzle.

She called over to him. "Let's see who finishes first. Us or them." Cassius tipped his head, sat down next to her, and started sorting pieces with those long fingers.

I turned back to the counter and picked the knife up again. None of the other guests could get away with what those two were doing, so they started washing produce and prepping.

It went smoothly enough. Smoothly enough that I almost forgot nobody in that house wanted things to go well for me.

Chapter 6 Not until I set the last dish down, breathed in the smell of an actual dinner filling the place, and let my shoulders drop.

Right then Vivienne stood up, delighted, balancing her finished puzzle on a tray. "Done!" I carried a plate toward the table.

She was bringing the puzzle over to show her friend. "Kiki, look…" A second later she walked straight into me. The tray flipped. Pieces everywhere.

I stopped. "You…" Nobody in the room moved. Vivienne took one dazed step back. Her eyes filled, slowly, and the whole room watched it happen.

Kiera Nash was on her feet instantly, biting the words off. "Josephine Ward, you did that on purpose, didn't you?

Vivienne worked so hard on that puzzle and you knocked it right out of her hands!" I frowned. "She walked into me." Vivienne wiped her eyes and sniffed. "It's fine.

Let it go." "Let what go?" I held my voice level and pointed at the production team, still rolling. "Play back the footage from thirty seconds ago.

Then we'll all know who walked into who." I'd been cooking for two hours. I was finally about to eat. And this was what we were doing? Vivienne blinked at me. "I'm not blaming you.

Why are you so worked up?" Kiera's mouth twisted. "And now she wants to hold up the shoot. She really thinks a lot of herself." That was it.

I started walking toward the production team. The director hadn't expected me to actually do it. He looked at Cassius before he could help it.

A cool voice came from behind me. "Josephine. That's enough." I spun around and stared into those black eyes. "Why?

Is it a crime to want people to know what actually happened?" Why was I carrying a name that wasn't mine? I didn't want episode two to air and bring another flood down on my head.

Cassius stayed against the couch, legs crossed, calm. His gaze moved over me without hurrying. "You're angry?" I pressed my lips together.

The director wiped his forehead. "The footage, um…" Cassius said it like it cost him nothing. "Some bitpart actress.

What makes her qualified to review our footage?" The director nodded instantly. "Then everything's fine.

Let's keep shooting." I looked at the row of cameras in the corner of the room. The raw footage was inside them. Whoever holds the raw footage decides what the truth is.

I stood where I was. After a long moment I nodded. "You all keep shooting. I'm done." Then I turned and walked out.

Cassius raised his eyes, unbothered. "You walk out that door and you're finished in this industry." Vivienne came toward me with something complicated on her face and took my hand. "Don't be so emotional.

Just say I lost my balance. Okay?" I smiled. "You were right last night. I left the country.

Why did I ever come back?" I pulled my hand out of hers and booked a flight out on my phone, right there.

Then I looked at Cassius and said it one word at a time. "You'll get your wish.

Since you find me this disgusting, you will never have to see me again." He took a step toward me without thinking. Then he stopped