WE BOTH THOUGHT THE OTHER WAS STRAIGHT

I got cornered in the locker room by my roommate, furious that I'd made new friends. I wanted to go after him. But he barely gave me the time of day.

Then we played Truth or Dare, and he said there was someone he liked.

I left the party crushed, and slowly pulled away from him. "Who was that guy just now?" Chapter 1 My name is Everett Ashcroft. I've talked slow my whole life. I do everything slow.

The other kids thought I was like a girl, and they didn't want to be around me.

It took everything I had to get into Alderton, and that was where I finally found a group of good friends. But I had a secret. I liked guys. And I liked my roommate.

When Knox came back to the room, I snuck a look at him out of habit and noticed he was walking funny. "What happened? I thought you were playing ball.

Why are you back so early?" "New shoes. They rub a little." Knox sat down in the chair with a black look on his face and pulled them off. Both his heels had been rubbed red.

I shot up out of my seat and dug through my things until I found a tube of ointment. "Put this on now, or you'll get blisters and it'll hurt worse." "I'm fine." Knox didn't take it.

Little injuries like that didn't seem to register with him. I'd had new shoes tear up my feet before. I knew what to do about it.

While Knox was in the shower, I went at the heels of his shoes with a hair dryer to soften them up, then rubbed Vaseline in so they wouldn't hurt the next time he wore them.

I meant to put them back before he came out, but my other roommate, Arlo, walked in. Arlo was an art major.

Supposedly his family ran some kind of business and had money coming out of their ears — the kind of rich where you bring a bodyguard to college.

He wore his hair down past his ears, half of it tied up, headtotoe designer, polished down to the last strand.

Arlo saw Knox's shoes in my hands and raised an eyebrow. "Everett, you are such a good little housewife. Taking care of Knox like this every single day." "Don't say that.

I am not." I hurried to put the shoes back where they belonged.

I turned around and found myself looking straight into Knox's dark eyes. "Don't go through my stuff." Knox said it flatly, but it went into me like a row of fine needles. "Sorry, I just wanted to—" He didn't let me finish.

He grabbed a towel and went back into the bathroom. The door shut hard. He didn't say another word to me all night. He hadn't always been like that.

Had he figured out that I liked him? Knox was cold and he was cool. He shot archery and rode motorcycles.

There was a photo on his Instagram of the girl he idolized — a fencing champion. I first fell for Knox on the outdoor day during welcome week.

We spent the whole day lining up under a blazing sun, and my blood sugar dropped and I passed out.

He hauled me up over his shoulder and carried me straight to the first aid station. Through the haze I saw the clean line of his profile and those beautiful, cold eyes.

He was holding me, and my heart went even faster. It was the first time I'd ever liked anyone. I didn't dare just go after him, so I was good to him quietly instead.

Knox was in my major. After class I'd go with him to play ball, and we ate together. Then one of his buddies joked that I was his little shadow and asked if I had a thing for him.

I panicked for a second. Knox's face went cold and he told the guy not to make jokes like that. After that he rarely walked to class and back with me anymore.

Looking back, he was probably keeping his distance so people wouldn't talk. I knew he didn't like guys.

Chapter 2 And even if he did, he'd like the cool ones, not somebody slow and quiet like me.

That weekend the archery club held a mixer so the new members could get to know each other.

I'd only joined the club for Knox, and now that he wasn't speaking to me, going felt awkward. I sat in a corner.

Knox was surrounded by girls, blankfaced, looking a little impatient. A guy that goodlooking is the center of attention no matter where he is.

The last thing on the schedule was a game of Sardines.

The rules are that one person hides, and whoever finds them hides with them in the same spot, until the last person finds everyone and we're all crammed into one place.

Then the game's over. We drew for it, and I drew number one.

I walked a loop through the building we'd been assigned and finally picked the supply closet at the back of an empty classroom and squeezed inside.

A spot this easy to find would get the game over with fast. Sure enough, it took less than five minutes. The second person showed up. The door swung open.

Knox and I stared at each other. A strange silence. "If you don't want to come in, you can drop out of the game." He didn't answer. I gripped the hem of my shirt, feeling low.

Then he stepped in and shut the door. Knox was tall. With all of him in there, the space got a lot smaller. Our shoulders were touching. I could feel the heat coming off him.

It was an awkward situation, and my heart still wouldn't stop speeding up. A while passed and nobody else came. I tried to start a few conversations.

He answered without much of anything in his voice, like he wasn't interested. "Sorry.

Is it boring, being stuck in here with me?" Knox frowned. "What are you apologizing for?" I looked at his face, inches from mine, and wanted to feel out whether he knew I had a crush on him.

I was about to open my mouth when the classroom door was pushed open. But it wasn't anyone from the club. It was our precious rich boy, Arlo.

Arlo was beautiful and he liked to dress up, like a gorgeous, aloof ragdoll cat. He was in the middle of a fight with some guy.

More precisely, the guy was standing there with his head down, taking it. "Why aren't you saying anything? You think that gets you off the hook? Some bodyguard you are.

All you ever do is make me mad." Arlo worked himself up until there were tears in his voice. The guy stopped. "I was wrong.

Yell at me all you want, just don't cry." Arlo didn't listen. He punched him.

They scuffled, and then out of nowhere the guy picked him up, set him on a desk, took his head in both hands, and forced a kiss on him. The classroom went dead quiet. Holy crap.

Those two? My eyes went wide. The next second a hand covered them. "Don't look. It's rated R." Knox said it in a whisper, and his breath went right into my ear and made it itch.

I didn't dare move. My heart just kept going faster. Someone from the club came by, and Arlo shoved the guy off, redfaced, and pulled him out of there at a run.

I pushed Knox's hand down. "I'm in college. What can't I look at?" "You're not even eighteen." "How do you know that?" I wouldn't turn eighteen until after Christmas.

Before Knox could answer, another club member found us and squeezed in. The guy could not stop talking. Knox and I listened to him ramble, and it wasn't so awkward anymore.

Chapter 3 After that game Knox seemed to get busy, and I never got a chance to be near him. A beef noodle place opened up across from campus.

I asked Knox to go with me and he said he didn't have time. Then I got there and found Knox sitting with his friends. Those friends rode too.

Sometimes they went out to the motorcycle club to race together. So he had time after all. He just didn't want it to be with me. Every seat inside was taken.

I looked around and figured I'd come back another day.

I'd just turned around when a familiar voice came from the row of outdoor tables by the door. "Everett." It was Knox, calling me back.

He shoved the guy next to him over and opened up a space on the bench. I made my way over slowly, a little happy in spite of myself. So he wasn't shutting me out completely.

The smoke off the cigarette in Knox's fingers kept drifting my way, and I couldn't help coughing.

He glanced at me, put it out without a word, and told his friends to put theirs out too.

A few of them across the table looked me over, curious. "Who's this?" "My roommate." "Just a roommate?" It was a babyfaced guy who asked, and there was something different in the way he looked at me.

Knox nodded, scrolling through his phone. When the noodles came out, the babyfaced guy picked the cilantro out of Knox's bowl. He did it smoothly. Clearly not the first time.

So why did Knox let him touch his food? I stole a look at him. On the whole table, his pack of cigarettes and Knox's were the only two of the same brand. It put me in a mood.

I was guessing at things instead of paying attention, and I accidentally poured in too much vinegar. Knox said, unhurried, "You like it that sour?" "Yeah.

I do." I said it into my bowl and got through those sour noodles with my teeth clenched. When I finished, Knox pulled out a napkin and handed it to me. "Not bad.

No wonder you wanted to try it. I was going to get an order to go for you. Guess I don't have to now." He said it offhand.

I sat there for a second, and the knot in my chest loosened a little. So he'd just happened to bring his friends here for noodles. He wasn't avoiding me.

As we left the place, the babyfaced guy hung on Knox, saying he hadn't ridden over today and asking Knox for a lift to the club. Knox said yes.

The babyfaced guy got on behind him, close enough that it looked like a hug. "See you around, roommate." He waved at me, smiling like he'd won something.

I pressed my lips together and made myself smile back. I didn't know what they were to each other, but that baby face definitely wanted Knox.

I hadn't even gotten him yet, and out of nowhere I had a rival. I was down for days, dragging through class.

Knox went out to the club for a timed track race and didn't get back until Monday afternoon. He pulled his shirt off to go shower.

I was casting around for a way to ask about him and the babyfaced guy. Then I turned my head, saw his bare back, and my brain stopped.

But I have sharp eyes, and I noticed a button had come off his jacket. "Knox, you lost a button. I have a sewing kit. Do you want it?" "I don't know how to sew." "Then let me.

I know how." Knox stared at me blankly, then hesitated and handed the jacket over. I threaded the needle without having to think about it.

He stood there watching, which made me nervous. But a button is the easiest thing there is. Two or three passes and it was done. "There.

I doubled it, so it won't come off again." I handed it back and found him looking at me differently. "Knox?" He came back to himself and gave me a small smile.

Chapter 4 "You know how to do a lot of things." "Not really.

My mom taught me." I thought about the way kids in high school used to sneer at me, and I looked down and asked one more thing. "Do you think it makes me seem like a girl?" "Why would you ask that?

There's no rule that says only girls sew. And is being like a girl a bad thing?

Gentle, careful — those are good things for a guy to have too." I looked at him and couldn't keep the corners of my mouth down. That was Knox. Cold on the outside, but raised right.

Knox ran his thumb over the button and said dinner was on him. I was secretly thrilled. Another chance to be close to him. At dinner I told them to hold the cilantro.

But Knox seemed listless and didn't have much appetite. I hesitated, and hesitated, and then went for it. "Knox, that guy you gave a ride to. You two seem close." "Yeah.

Met him out at the club back in high school." That long ago? How well did they know each other? "Do you hang out a lot?" "Yeah.

If there's something going on we go together." "…" So what did Knox actually think of him? Did he know the babyfaced guy liked him?

I chewed on my straw, stuck, and then looked up and saw something was wrong with his face. "What is it? Do you feel okay?" "It's nothing.

Probably didn't sleep enough." The smile took effort. I reached over and put my hand on his forehead. Burning. "You have a fever?" "Do I?" It was news to Knox.

He said he'd gotten rained on out at the track and hadn't thought much of it. I frowned and took him back to the dorm the second we were done eating.

I had a little first aid kit with a thermometer and the usual medicine in it. The thermometer read 100.4. "You're a grown man.

How do you not know when you're sick?" I muttered, and made him take something and get in bed.

Knox lay down, woozy, watching me run around, and snorted. "What are you, Mary Poppins?

How do you have everything in that bag?" "My mom was afraid I wouldn't manage out here on my own, so she packed a little of everything." "Must be nice." There was envy in it.

The medicine pulled him under, and his breathing evened out. … When he woke up again it was around noon the next day. He opened his eyes, still sick, and looked toward the window.

I hurried over, seizing my chance to be useful. "Are you hungry? I got chicken and rice soup. I've been waiting for you to wake up." Knox looked at me a moment, then nodded.

I put my hand over his eyes. "Close them. I'm turning on the light." A light right after you wake up stings. He blinked, and his lashes brushed my palm.

It was overcast, gray outside, and the room was ridiculously dark. I hadn't wanted the overhead light to disturb him, so all day I'd used the little lamp on my desk.

A few seconds after I turned it on, Knox slowly opened his eyes. The soup was still warm. I told him to eat it while it was hot and take his medicine after.

Knox looked at me, something soft in his eyes. "Everett. You didn't go to class?" "I did.

I emailed your professor for you too." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." I smiled, then added, giving myself away, "We're roommates.

Helping each other out is what you do." Knox nodded, slow about it. Knox must not have been sick in a long time. It took him over a week to get better.

Chapter 5 That whole time I had an excuse to stick to him, going to class and coming back with him every day, like we were back to how we used to be.

The archery club set up a competition, and Knox practiced after class whenever he had time. I'd never shot before. I got there and didn't even know how to hold the bow.

A guy a year ahead of me came over to help. "First time?" "Yeah." "Don't be nervous. Loosen your shoulders." He showed me the stance and how to draw.

I set my feet the way he said and got the bow up and drawn. I didn't dare move, and glanced over at him carefully. "Like this?" "Yes.

You're doing great." He met my eyes and couldn't help smiling. "How are you this cute? You look at me like a puppy." "…" Was that a compliment or an insult?

I pressed my lips together, unsure whether to smile.

Knox came out of the restroom, something darkening in his eyes, and came straight over and knocked the guy's hand aside. "I've got him. Thanks." "You're competing.

You're not training?" "It can wait." The guy saw he meant it, smiled, and told him good luck. Knox came over to show me the form, and I got more nervous, not less.

I was already scared of doing it wrong, and then he leaned in. "Lift your arm a little," Knox said quietly, all his breath right at my ear. "Eyes forward." I stood there stiff, my head completely empty.

My ears felt like they'd caught fire. "Release