WHEN I STOPPED CHASING MY HUSBAND

"Babe, exactly how much do you love me?" I was always chasing my husband around to ask him that. My highmaintenance, lovesick routine wore him down to nothing.

Then my sister dragged me off to a job, and I was finally too busy to answer texts, too busy to think about getting my hands on him.

I came home late one night, and when Bertram asked for cuddles, all I did was pull the blanket up over him. "Get some sleep.

You have work tomorrow." That night he didn't sleep at all. He started searching: "what do i do if my wife doesnt love me anymore" Chapter 1 I'm a hopeless lovesick case.

In elementary school I had a crush on the neighbor boy I'd grown up with, and when he got kidnapped, I climbed into the car voluntarily.

In middle school I was quietly in love with a bad kid who'd bleached his hair blond, and because he called me fat one time, I furiously dropped twenty pounds.

In high school I went after the straightA boy and nearly killed myself getting into a bigname school more than a thousand miles from home.

For all of it, my parents took me to a therapist. They took me to a psychic. They even moved the entire family plot to a different cemetery.

But after I suggested we buy our family plot right next to my boyfriend's family plot, they gave up.

So when I told them I'd fallen for Bertram, who didn't have a dime to his name, my parents were actually relieved. "Reliable, lives close by, no debt, goodlooking.

It's a miracle!" But married life was not what I'd pictured. "Bertram and I got into it again." I threw my purse onto the couch, eyes swimming. "He doesn't love me anymore!" I laid out my conclusion to my sister, who was sitting behind her desk.

Kimberly was looking over a document in her hand. At the sound of my voice she went still, and only after a moment did she raise her eyes.

She looked faintly skeptical. "What's the reason this time?" I was righteous about it. "He didn't kiss me this morning!" Kimberly let out a cold laugh. "Gross me out one more time and I'm throwing you out." She didn't look like she was joking, so I got my case out fast. "It's the twentieth.

He's been away on business for seven days!

That's twice this month already!" "He gets home and it's straight to cuddling, we barely said ten words to each other!" "And tomorrow morning he's leaving again!" Kimberly's face stayed flat, so I pulled out my phone to show her. "In those seven days I sent him 539 messages and he answered 32!" At this point I couldn't keep lying to myself.

I took a deep breath. "He's cheating on me!" "Ow!" I hadn't even finished before Kimberly whacked me on the head.

Kimberly looked at me, out of patience. "Winnie, the way Bertram works, he wouldn't have time to hang himself." I opened my mouth to keep going, and she gave me a slow sideways look. "Besides, isn't that mole you planted next to him watching him for you?" That shut me right up.

My eyes just stung. Kimberly looked at me and finally set down her pen. She softened her voice. "Bertram's the proud type, isn't he?

Your standard of living dropped a lot after the two of you got married.

It's only in the last few years, after he started doing well, that you got back to where you were before the wedding. Isn't that right?" Obviously that wasn't going to comfort me.

She saw the tears welling up and knew exactly what was coming. "I don't need a lot of money. All I need is a lot of lo—" She pinched my mouth shut before I could finish.

Chapter 2 Kimberly's voice went dangerous. "Say it and I really will throw you out, you lovesick idiot." "Nnngh!" But being alone was so lonely!

Kimberly read the meaning in my eyes and slapped a folder down in front of me. "Then come work for me. You're sitting around doing nothing anyway." At first I didn't want to.

Wouldn't that mean even less time with Bertram?

I'd been planning to head out tomorrow to the city Bertram was working in and surprise him! "Even people in love need distance," Kimberly said. "If you keep going like this, what are you going to do when Bertram really does stop loving you?" "You can't keep holding on to him.

You have to give him room to be alone." I opened my mouth to argue, then thought about the line of men chasing my sister, then thought about all my own romances that had failed before they even started, and went quiet.

Was I really holding on too tight? I went home with an armload of documents and a messy head. The dining table was covered in food, with a pot of soup and a little apology cake.

Bertram's voice came from the balcony.

He was clearly still dealing with work, brows faintly drawn, looking genuinely bothered, long fingers tugging loose the tie he normally kept perfectly knotted.

Bertram was the type who rarely let anything negative show on his face.

The one exception was last night, when he sounded worn down to the last thread and said this. "Winnie, can you let me have a minute alone to cool off?" He'd frozen the second it left his mouth, and after that it was nonstop making it up to me and comforting me.

But I still couldn't forget what he'd said last night. Or maybe I really was too clingy. While I was still debating whether to call out to him, Bertram happened to look up at me.

Our eyes met, and in an instant the exhaustion and the irritation were gone, replaced by a gentle smile.

He said something brief into the phone and hung up. "Did you go to your sister's?

Why didn't you call me down to carry it?" His eyes had landed on the bags of every size in my hands, and he came over and took them.

He looked at the red marks the handles had cut into my palms and frowned slightly. I waved it off immediately. "It's nothing, it was just the walk up from the garage.

I'm going to be working at my sister's for a few days." Bertram went still. "Is your spending money not enough?

I still have the card, there's still—" I beat him to it. "No, no, I've just been bored lately, and you're busy these days anyway." The words were out, and we both went visibly stiff.

Neither of us had let go of yesterday. Bertram took my hand, completely serious. "I'm sorry. What I said last night was out of line.

I made you unhappy and that was my fault." "It's fine, it's fine," I said right away. "You really were swamped, and I wasn't paying attention to you either." To show that I didn't mind, I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Bertram looked like he wanted to say more. I forced the subject somewhere else. "Okay, enough about that.

No point bringing up things that make us unhappy." "Let's eat first, I'm starving.

And tell me if there's anything I should watch out for at work." "It's been so long since I've been around strangers." I'm a shutin with social anxiety.

Work and socializing both terrified me. If my sister hadn't been yelling at me to take the job, I probably would have gone my whole life without going out to meet anyone.

Saying I wasn't nervous would have been a lie. Bertram obviously saw it, and started telling me funny stories about work.

Chapter 3 Like when he first started out and he was so nervous he answered a delivery driver's call with "Copy that." Or the time he drank coffee while working late and got a mouthful of grounds.

Some of it was deliberately for my benefit, but it worked. "So how did you get past the embarrassment?" I asked. "It's fine.

If you're not embarrassed, the embarrassment doesn't exist." I must have still looked hesitant and tangled up, because Bertram suddenly spoke with great seriousness. "Winnifred." "Hm?" "Believe that this world revolves around you." I just stared at him, and that was when he laughed. "Isn't that what you stand on the bed and shout with your hands on your hips every time you beat a game?" "Aaah, stop talking!" I said that, but I'd loosened up a lot.

Bertram and I split a small piece of cake, and then I watched him set up the bathroom for a bath together.

But— Kimberly: [Did you read the materials?] Kimberly: [If you show up tomorrow and don't know a single thing, you're dead.] Looking at the texts on my phone, I abandoned Bertram without hesitation and ran into the study with the folder. "You take your bath first!" Bertram had the look of someone who'd started to say something and stopped.

I shut the study door in one second. I went in intending to study seriously. I did not get through the documents. My sister had actually stuck a company culture deck in there.

Me: [Do I have to read this stuff too? I'm only going in to help out for a few days.] Me: [It's not an internship, and Bertram just got home today.

I want a little couple time with him.] Me: [I am a worldfamous nepo hire!

I'm Kimberly's sister!] Kimberly: [K] Me: [Yes, Your Majesty.] With no way to fight back, I miserably opened the folder and got to studying.

Three minutes later I dropped my head onto the papers and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day I was completely disoriented. "Wasn't I reading the documents?" Bertram pinched my cheek, thoroughly amused. "I found you asleep in the study last night, so I carried you back." He was about to say something else, but I shot upright and bolted for the closet. "I'm going to be late!

My sister told me to report in early!" Mornings are always especially tight. Mostly because I hadn't planned or prepared anything in advance.

It was Bertram's help that got me out the door at all. Right before I left, he looked at me in my fairly formal outfit and went a little blank. "Is something off?" I asked. "No.

You're beautiful. That's why I blanked." I grinned and was about to step in for a hug when the phone rang.

I snatched my hands back. "I'm going, I'm going, my sister hates people who can't manage their time!" Bertram clearly had something to say.

I had no time for it and just waved at him. "Travel safe, have a good trip, text me if anything comes up!" It wasn't until I saw the text on my phone that it hit me.

Bertram: [No kiss before you left today.] So that was what was missing! Me: [I'll make it up next time!] Working turned out to be far busier than I'd imagined.

My whole plan had been to be a nepo hire. The kind with big curls and red lipstick and a tiny purse who walks out the second the clock hits five.

Instead my sister dropped me straight into the busiest art team there was. "I brought you in to actually work," Kimberly said. "You think you're getting paid for nothing?" Chapter 4 And so, at the busiest possible time, this veteran illustrator got harnessed up like an old workhorse and put to work.

I'd helped out plenty back when my sister was building the company, so I knew the workflow well enough. But… the social anxiety.

Facing coworkers who were either curious or openly sizing me up, I kept a composed smile on my face while frantically texting my sister and Bertram behind it.

Mostly Bertram, because if I annoyed my sister, she was close enough to actually hit me.

Me: [Waaahhh babe come take me home!] Me: [They all look so professional!] Bertram: [Don't be nervous, you'll be fine.

You have a good personality, they're all going to like you.] Me: [I want to go home… I'll just let my sister yell at me!] Bertram: [No.] Bertram, who gave in to me about everything, was unusually firm this time.

Bertram: [Winnie, this is an opportunity.] Bertram: [You depend on me too much.

You don't have a life of your own, and when you're by yourself it's going to be hard on you.] Bertram: [After work I'll have someone bring you the cake you like.] I stared at the messages, a little lost.

Because Kimberly had said something similar.

Before I could think it through, someone called out to me. "Come on, meeting time." I copied everyone else, grabbed a notebook and pen, and hit autofollow. My sister hadn't lied.

The art team really was slammed. Even a small fry like me came back from the meeting with an illustration assignment.

Drawing was the most familiar thing in the world to me, so I nodded and took it right away. But… where is there a job that doesn't come with grief?

I threw my pen down on the desk, unable to believe even my rough draft had been sent back.

The whole direction had been rejected! "What do you mean I can't draw the feeling they want? Is my technique the problem?

Do you want to see the room in my house that exists purely to hold my trophies and certificates?" "Do you know how hard it is to get on my calendar?" None of which helped.

The fate of working for somebody else is revising, forever. After three minutes of falling apart, I bit down on the end of my pen and got back to it. Anyone can call me lovesick.

Anyone can call me a sister's girl. Anyone can call me a nepo hire. But absolutely nobody gets to run their mouth about my art. A pack of tasteless philistines! Stab them all!

Which is how my very first day at work turned into overtime. It took Bertram calling for me to realize I hadn't reached out to him all day.

There was worry in his voice. "Did something happen?" "Nothing," I said through my teeth. "Working late.

Can't talk, bye!" I worked straight through to the middle of the night, and in the end my sister hauled me out with her when she left. "Good thing Bertram called me," Kimberly said, "or I honestly would have forgotten you were still here." That snapped me back.

The second I opened my phone, message after message popped up. 11:00 AM Bertram: [I'm sorry, I don't think what I said was right. You can come home whenever you want.

Do you want me to talk to your sister?] Bertram: [I was just worried you'd be bored on your own.] 12:30 PM Bertram: [Landed. Are you hungry?

There's fruit in your bag.] 1:00 PM Bertram: [Winnie, are you busy?] 1:30 PM Bertram: [Did you eat?] 5:00 PM Bertram: [Sunset] … 8:00 PM Bertram: [Working late today?] Looking at that wall of messages, I felt a little dazed.

My fingers flew over the reply